Adore Her
by Earisu.Geinzuburu
Summary: Realization. What would do you if the woman you loved was married to a former bodyguard of yours? The 1st Class SOLDIER being my only comfort. God, forgive me. I ache for her so badly. Cl/Ti, Za/Aer. Aer/Tif.
1. Introduction

Don't own Final Fantasy VII, or their characters. Merely this plot line.

**Introduction.**

_We pray on search lights to save us. Our pulse skips as we secure laced fingers._

The masamune pierced through my stomach, ripping and tearing the delicate skin. My being fell limp, once in my prayer - my eyes widen. I felt it... I felt the bleed dripping, making a trail down the sword's length - I saw her. Her honey hues just as wide as ten gil in a circle - I could see the..

What was I staring at? What was her expression trying to tell me? My arms fell to my sides - my body was drifting forward. I could feel him sliding the masamune from me. I think I heard him laugh. I think I heard her scream.. Oh god, I'm not sure anymore..

I feel faint.. My arms have been trying to move since the impalement - was I...?

My head had jerked backwards, knocking and throwing out the ribbon, dislodging the materia. Before I could even try to reach for the pale glowing orb. I felt myself hit the ground, my eyes were shut now - I wanted to open them, really I did.

I wanted to tell her everything was going to be alright. To take her into an embrace, run my fingers into her ebony locks and whisper nothing more than to explain how I felt.. I really did. I heard her screaming. I wasn't sure if it was at him, for me, or perhaps even both.

"Sephiroth!"

It was silent now..

That was over a year and six months ago. It's been such a long wait. I've watched her from a distance when we were even together.. It's been a.. spiritual watch from there. Never from a far distance.

Zack knew it well, he said he could easily tell from how I was watching her. I spoke to him many times about it. He seem easily taken, at the same time he didn't seem to mind I was going crazy over a girl I couldn't touch. He's just brush my brown strands away from my eyes, telling me he knew what it was like to go nuts over a girl he couldn't touch.

Even though, I knew he was talking about me.. It was still comforting to know he fully understood. I still knew I had feelings for Zack, it wasn't what I had felt for her. With all he had to say, he had always promised me, he'd always help me find a way to get closer to her..

We were close to her even now. The Lifestream danced around us, emeralds, jades, and the pale of whites. The Planet's whispering in my ear, my eyes reminded focused on her. We were a great distance from her now. While she was working for Strife's Delivery Services. How I longed for her to pay mind to the 7th Heaven. As I continued to look on, Zack spoke softly to me. Telling me of ideas he had to even, just maybe, bring me back to life. I only giggled at the idea, shaking my head.

I would know of some kind of secret, right? For something like that. I _am_ a Cetra anyway. Of course, I would know! I stayed on the raven haired woman. Watching as she moved around - checking packages, and taking calls. Writing notes, and handing papers off to Marlene - my... How Marlene has grown. She really turned into even more gorgerous child.

My name is Aerith Gainsborough... And I'm in love with Tifa Lockhart.


	2. Fair

**Fair.**

_I am in the only place that I want to be. Though we know that it ends eventually. But it's alright because right now, we're frozen._

It's so beautiful here. The light shimmering around us, dancing and peering through the trees' branches, the grass.. I think it would feel warm now? It's so bright, the grass sways every so slightly with a zephyr. What I wouldn't give to feel a breeze again. Zack and I sat side by side - we seemed to do this alot, actually.. I think we did it everyday since we've been together.

I think it's been more about comfort than anything else. We did travel alot though. The places since I felt Midgar. It was so wonderous. It took my breath away from I saw the Gold Saucer for the first time. The lights that shined across the building as we arrived that first time. The awe that must of been appeared on my face within moments of spotting it.

I knew Zack could see I was in nothing more than thought, my legs were bent at the knees, hiking boots sitting flat against the Earth, arms wrapped loosely around my lower legs. I tilted my head in the slightest manner, glancing in Zack's direction. He was pretty much laying against the ground, if it wasn't for his' elbows being used as a prop, his head was tilted in my direction, just watching me with his glowing mako blue orbs. I watched him with my eyes, he was handsome. His spiked ebony locks framed his' face. His face was so sharp, but so gentle it appeared all rolled into one. A scar was hidden some strands - but that took _nothing_ away from him.

We sat there awhile longer, I tried to keep my eyes hidden behind my arched bangs, looking through the golden brown strands of hair to watch him. It was almost so odd. My first love was here with me.. We discussed my second love many times with each other. He told me he understood how I felt about her - he had been watching him after his' own passing - how I yearned to be near her - how he desired to be near me when he had passed.

He always been there for me, just maybe I could fall in love with him? "Zack.." My lips barely as I spoke, my eyes drifting away from him, towards the blue sky, looking forward to any clouds in the sky, no.. The sky was oddly clear today. I could hear him shift around, I'm guessing how he's getting ready to slide himself closer to me. He was, out of the corner of my eye, I stare him in my position, just leaning over his knees, hands finding their place on the ground next to me.

"Aerith," His voice was always so gentle to me, I couldn't even look at him when he spoke - he made me blush, I never understood what it was about him that lit my face aflame.

Was it perhaps I enjoyed the conversation? The way his' eyes glowed every time he spoke my name? The way his' mako blue's shimmering at me every single time, "I know," My hands fell to the ground, and one landed ontop of his' gloved hand, slipping between his' fingers, lacing together our fingers, my hand ontop, was his' skin still delicate? Or was it rough from battle? "I know how you feel, I mean look at me.." He was right, he couldn't touch a girl that didn't want him anymore. Atleast he always seemed to think that about me.

Did I want her so _badly_ because I wanted him to see me? Was this my way of getting back at him for disappearing for so long?

"Being with you even now puts me on edge," His fingers tightened, giving my hand a squeeze, "I can only promise to do what I can." His angelic feathers slide around us, Zack enclosed us within his wings.

I always felt at home with him. With _her_... God I wish I could explain it. I didn't _want_ her.. I _needed_ her.

My head merely bobbed in a slight nod, my head drifted downwards, eyes falling into nearly closed. "I do miss her." He unlaced our fingers with a quick shake, and pulled his arms around my shoulders, hanging them loosely there, and pressed his palm against my upper arm, knocking me ever so gently into his chest.

He understood, how couldn't he? He had to watch as I flirted with the spiky chocobo haired Cloud Strife.. To think about it, that didn't even feel right. Flirting with Cloud that is. He acted, and looked _almost_ like Zack. The glow in Cloud's eyes were exactly like Zack's. It never felt right flirting, and trying to impress Cloud.

Somehow though, Zack saw through my attempts. He saw how I became when I first saw her. My eyes fully closed, my head turned so my cheek could rest against Zack's chest. He felt so strong, it was just his' presence that declared it.. His' dark strands drifting into my own sight - I knew this because I could picture the shadows. He was always so delicate, and upbeat about everything. So content in every way. Nothing seemed to bring him down.

I remember it like it was yesterday. The first time I saw her. She was gorgerous. I felt my face become hot - I was blushing. She was dawned a blue mini dress. I was sitting around with Cloud in the park nearby my house. Don had her taken away, to his place for a _"date"_. He was truly disgusting. I was happy he was gone. That's horrible for me to say...

When I finally got close enough to actually eye her on every detail of her being.. She was even more beautiful than I had thought. When she dressed like herself. The tanktop.. My eyes opened, I could feel myself shake, a moan slipped through my lips. Zack nudged me. He knew. What all ran through my head.

"You need to - " His voice was gentle, but my hand jolted upwards, extending my index finger to the center of his lips.

"Zack Fair.." I whispered, his lengthy, pure wings unwrapped from us, I continued as I shifted away from him, as well as a step or two from him. "Please." I knew for well, I couldn't have her.

I felt jealousy towards Cloud. He was there with her, every day with her. At Strife's Delivery Services. The chocobo haired boy seemed to come a long way since his' cold heart finally started to open up. What was she trying to make up for? What time had she lost that was so bad? She was there - standing at his side. Jealousy wasn't even becoming the word anymore.

My weight shifted as I finally started to stand up, my arms extending outward behind me. You didn't really need to rest when you're dead. Zack looked up at me, watching my movement. I could feel his eyes focused on me, his wings extended just as my arms moved. They were beautiful, he had deserved them after all. He worked so hard to try to keep everyone safe, this was his' gift.

"I can't help but to want her.." I said, my arms falling to my sides, as I began to step, My lips moved as I tried to convice myself of my own words, "But.." My eyes drifted around, glancing to where we were - fifteen minutes from Midgar. "I know, I shouldn't." The Lifestream was all around us, my boots would hit the green Earth - you could see the Lifestream begin to dance at my feet. Splashing it's emeralds, jades, and pale whites around, gently closing back, and never leaving a trail behind.

It only moved as either of us took a step. I heard Zack shift around, pulling himself to his' feet. Why couldn't I just love Zack like I used to? We could be together, never having to actually worry about leaving each other behind. We pretended enough as it was to be a couple, then again, I believe it was more just comfort we wanted from each other.

"You're right." I could hear him whisper, a sigh slipping between his lovely lips. "Let's go and check up on her, and the rest." He said louder, I was already afew paces ahead of him - we did this once a week. Zack curled into a bright smile, he seemed to float towards me, as I turned towards him. "Let's see if we can't get you out from the Forgotten City later." I never been there in forever..

I haven't been there since... Well... I stopped myself from my own thoughts, how dangerous they can actually be, "May we go see her today.." I didn't even have to ask really. He was already several paces ahead of me, my eyes had been watching him.

He knew fully well, every week - once a week, around the same exactly time - I _needed _ to see her, I _needed_ to make sure she wasn't hurt, or upset.. I couldn't bare seeing tears fall from her gorgerous honey eyes again.

We'd spend the next fifteen minutes, carefully traveling to Midgar City.

Once we arrived, we had stopped outside for awhile, watching from a window of her house. It was after six, so she was usually there by then. She was there...

My lips curved into an uncontrollable smile - if my heart were beating right now, it would just be as uncontrollable as my smile, even skipping beats. She stood there in the hallway, her back arched backwards, a hand reaching and tugging quickly at the boot. She did the same with the opposite foot.

I'd never dare to follow her into her own house.. I wanted to - please, god - I wanted to so badly.

"Zack.." I whimpered as my arm lifted, the bracelets wiggling around my wrist, palm pressing flat against the glass of her window, the Lifestream dancing up between my digits, "What can I do..." My eyes were never taken off her, sololy focusing on her - the way her hips moved within restriction of the jet skirt she wore that day. My face redden, the heat was because of her.. She turned herself around, I could see that delicate face. She chopped off some of her beautiful, dark locks I noticed.. They reached about shoulder length - it wasn't much of a difference, but it was difference.

Her hair now framed her delicate face.. She was lovely, truly a beautiful piece of artwork - one that you may find within the Slums that someone stole from somewhere within Midgar. Zack shifted around, finding his place against the railing of her stairs, arms folded across his strong being. I could see him perfectly from the window, the reflection showed me so much of his own expression. His build was so... I wonder.. What it would feel like? His' lips held a caring smile, as he seemed thoughtful.

"There's so much to try.." He finally spoke, she had left one room to another - I could barely see her. I felt so protective over her. _So much to try?_

I bite my lip, "Zack.."

Of course, he didn't seem to know, but he seemed wanting to so help me. I dropped my head, my hand finally falling from the glass. "Aerith, understand.. There's no set way to even do this.." He had sighed, "This is why I never ever gave it a try - it's dangerous."

It was a warning - I understood that well. He told me time and time again, _it's dangerous_. He told me every time we came here. Yet, he never actually told me of the _dangers_ were actually.

As we spoke, I listened as heavy steps began up the stairs - someone slipped by without me knowing. The fear dropped into my heart - what if they somehow knew Zack and I were here? What if - my body jumped as I heard the last step hit the top stair, hand gripping onto the handle of the door - twisting, and popping it open.

I took afew steps backwards. Cloud had came over - oh.. How closely they became over the last three months. My still heart sank. I whimpered, and Zack shook his head. "We should go..." We could hear Cloud's voice calling from inside the house.

Zack only wanted us to go for one reason only, every time Cloud had appeared, she would be screaming his name afew minutes later. We saw this first hand. I nearly collapsed to my knees when I first witnessed her in all her glory, then came the pain of knowing - and even for a moment - seeing her goddess like body straddled on him.

_Down to you, You're pushing and pulling me down to you. But I don't know what I, Now when I caught myself, I had to stop myself._

Cloud had came over one night around six - we came over, my desire to protect her, and watch over her was more great than it was now.. She came to answer the door, her lips widen showing off her beautiful smile - there she was in all her glory..

My eyes shot opened wide - when I had looked in Zack's direction, his eyes were just as wide as mine, taking a look back to her. I began to drink in every detail of her body - how she shined that white, transplanet mini dress. She never did anything to even stop Cloud from looking at her, from within her throat a growl seemed to start, "Cloud.." She had gotten out.

I had continued to eye her up and down, as Cloud stood there a little taken aback. Her body had such curves to it, her mounds were more than I had imagined. It was truly a piece of work, I had thought to myself. I moaned as she had moved, allowing Cloud a moment to breath out her name, before stepping inside, she slipped and wiggled into his' grasp.

While Zack and I stood outside, dumbfounded, it only took afew moments for us to hear bodies slamming their way up stairs, and crashing ontop - what I would imagine - to be a bed. Within moments from there, the once gentle voice now turned into a scream - it was just a split second, like the moment she had lost control - it was his' name she had called out. That was the moment Zack had gripped onto my arm, and pulled me away.

Just as he did now, I bite my lip, following in suit, my steps only one behind his, "Let's check on Elmyra." He spoke quickly, I merely nodded, before looking forward, pulling my arm from his' grip, and slipping and locking our fingers together.


	3. Forgotten City

**2. Forgotten City.**

_If I had it to give, I would give it away, I'm living it up, While I'm falling from grace.  
><em> 

It was the first time I ever saw it before, and of course the last. So peaceful, so silent, the saddness that lingered in the air. I breathed it all in. The light that flickered against the ground, it seemed to shine everything a pale blue. Zack took me by the hand, interlocking our fingers together, a tight squeeze and I knew where he was leading me to.

"Zack," I breathed, taking a moment to taste the dead air. "We shouldn't -" His head inclined as he peereed into my direction, his smile had me stopped dead in what I was about to say. His eyes glowed of blue.

Something about him, it just made me so sure to whenever we were going. Somehow, I knew where he was going to lead me. Just somehow. We could only be in the Forgotten City for one reason alone. "I wouldn't worry." He said rather quickly, giving my hand another squeeze. Of course he wouldn't worry, why would be? He wasn't the one who had their lifeless body laying in a pond.

That's where we found ourselves, rather I found myself. He led me nearby the entrance where Mr. Fish was, just outside actually, we were standing at the edge of the pond. My fingers seem to tightened around his own. I think I heard him let a small yelp, before loosening my grip just a moment. "Zack.." I whimpered.

It had been a year and a half since I last even need here - Zack had always been trying to get me to come. But I wouldn't, until now.. I'm beginning to wonder why. With one swift motion of his', his' free arm extending out behind me, and a sudden jerk of the hand I held, I found myself against his' chest, while his' eyes began to search through the water of the pond, my own eyes had closed.

I brought our interlocked fingers between us, pressing them between my breasts and his' chest. "I always wanted to see you with your hair down." He spoke softly, my head bowed onto his' collar bone. Always something with you, Mister Fair. "Now.." He said, before taking a moment to step back, unlock our fingers, and step onto the surface of the crystal water.

I bite my lip, slowly peering at him. My hand, just resting against my chest. Afew more steps, and the man was standing on the water. He almost seemed to float with each step he took. It was kinda... Interesting? Would be the word, I guess. No, amazing. The Lifesteam - it splashed and danced at his feet even now; taking the blue, and dancing there, but never mixing. The water never seemed to even move. It was more amazing how the Lifestream seemed to be there, even on water, it never even rippled the blue of where he stood.

"Zack." I whimpered once more, this time his' name seemingly to choke. I could sense it in my throat, could a dead person actually choke on her own words? It was the fear that bit down on me.

"Don't worry." He repeated his statement from before, when I finally fully opened my eyes - he was there standing in the middle of the pond. Right nearby where my body lie. An extended arm, fingers stretching, beckoning me on. "Aerith." His' voice seemed to echo in the hollow.

He looked so wonderous standing there, just like that. The middle of the pond - even if it was where I was resting, my physical body anyway - a smile jolted against his lips, so bright and brilliant. His' feathery wings arched around him so beautifully. He truly was handsome, it was a shame he had passed. He would of had some lovely children. We need a place like that, with more upbeat, cheerful people. I wish I had a camera..

Then it clicked in, where he wanted me. "Zack, I can't.." I took in a sharp breath, staring at him. "I can't do it.." This is where my still heart would start pounding against my chest again, my body would start tumbling - it was even now - my throat would begin to close out, as I cried out for him.

He seemed to nod softly, before making his' adventure back to my side. I knew I had been dead, the fear of seeing my body after all this time was frightening. What did I look like now? Was I decaying? Was I beginning the progess? I had nearly inflated since the watery grave? Oh god...

"Please, Zack.." My tone tumbled, he was already standing infront of me. His arms opened, and welcoming. _Home._ I climbed into the gesture, and buried my face into his chest.

"It's alright," A tiny laugh as he enclosed me in with both arms and wings. "I wouldn't force you to do anything you wouldn't want." He wouldn't either. He ensured me of that many times. His' hands found the small of my back, I ached as he pulled me closer.

"I can't yet.."

"It's alright." I could hear the smile in his' voice as he lowered his' face into my hair, burying it there. "It's alright.."

Perhaps, he was trying to get me to realize what he knew all along - this is how we were, anything attempts at a rebirth would be more dangerous than not. Why couldn't I just love him? He was always so gentle.

"Zack.." I moaned, as I slipped my arms around his neck, keeping my face buried. "You have no idea how much this means to me.." It did too.. My face began to redden again, eyes opening just narrowly as I spoke each word. "We should leave.."

Zack shifted, slowly unveiling his wings from around me - such a safe zone - I drifted away, tugging out of his' embrace as I slip to merely stand infront of me, though my fingers at followed down his shoulder, from his entire length of his arm, and met his fingers were they would lace together. Both arm from each of us were extended infront of us, we stood arm's length away - well, my arm's length anyway.

Forgotten City... Of the Anicent. Where the body of the last Cetra had been resting. A puzzled look took over Zack's face. A smile slipped across my own face, as I began to step afew paces - a swift tug at his' fingers - he began to follow in suit.

"Leave?" His' head tilted, as he followed behind me, a small step behind. I giggled. I wanted to love Zack. Really, I did. Watching three months of Cloud and her go at it. Why shouldn't I? Why shouldn't I just move along with my own... Unlife. I bobbed my head at his' question, and unhooked our fingers before slipping out of his' sight.

I could hear his' voice call for my name. Time to play a game, Zack Fair. My mind ran with thought. Could I possible love Zack? Instead of worrying about her? The fear of that own question in my mind played it's own game. It's a waiting game there. I bite my lip as I raced away from him - I could hear his' - what would be - heavy steps pacing behind me.

"C'mon, Zack!" I called out, cupping my hands around my mouth as I did. Forgotten City was like a small puzzle all by itself, you'd race around this corner, and that, go there, before turning there.

That's what I just did. Took a giant maze - when in a circle to slip into a room where I knew there were beds. Taking a moment, and slipping just behind the door, I called out his' name in a sing-song voice.

She was on my mind, no doubt about that. Was it more the pain she had been causing towards me that drew me to her? The way I could never express how I felt towards her? ...Bother.. It felt like the _'city'_ would of taken away all the questions - it had rid myself of some. But... I knew it'll be time to move on with my unlife. Begin a progess of spending with Zack.

Oh! I jumped abit, I listened as he called my name - ringing out, I bit my lip - he was close. I knew it. I pressed myself against the door. "Zack Fair!" I tried _really_ hard to make it echo - hoping confusing him.

_I keep holding onto you, But I can't bring you back to life. Sing the anthem of the angels._

I think he stopped. I turned just abit, turning my head off the side, trying to glance between the crack of the door and it's fr - I screamed, jumping away from the solid material. I heard him grasp, as he came in to catch me - I found myself losing my footing and falling backwards - one of his arms must of had timing - or atleast his' timing was perfectly matched.

With my back arched, we were eye level, he was leaning over me, one leg further than the other - he began to stumble. "Zack." I grasped, my once limp arms, hurrying around his neck, and clutching on for dear life.

He stumbled - once - twice - he brought me closer into his' chest, one arm out to catch onto - well, whatever he was trying to grab. My face became buried into the nook of his' neck, eyes pressed up against his' what would be flesh. I whimpered - another misstep - his' being began to turn - we fell - the pure feathers enfolded around me - landed.. I heard him laugh.

Wherever we had landed, his arms came around the small of my back, my eyes opened as his' feathers unfolded, resting flat on a surface. "Are you alright?" He queried, as his' chest moved up and down from the laughter emitting from his lips, his head was laid back against the surface of the bed, never leaving an imprint of where we were.

I simply bobbed my head, drifting just slightly back away from his' neck, enough so my eyes would meet with his' blues. I was settled ontop of him, laying in between his' legs, and ontop of his' chest. "Zack.." I whispered, he was trying to calm his' laughing, so I repeated his' name, this time even softer than before.

A person could will themselves to love another right? ...Right? He just looked at me, with his head pulled up abit. I could see the love in his' orbs now. The desire, the want he had. I bit my lip. "Thank you.." I finally spoke, before lowering myself - eyes drfting closed, and pressed so delicately against his'.

It was like a flash of heat - I moaned, and he pressed his' lips deeper into mine, tightening his grip around me. Why shouldn't I love him? He was so kind, and gentle. So helpful and willing... She moved on with her life - she never knew I even cared that way, I never knew how she felt. What I _had_ is what I should _keep_... Right?

"Zack," I managed to break the kiss, my lips continued to brush gently against his' as I spoke. Zack's grip loosen, "Don't let go.." I whined, "I want you..." His' eyes widen a moment, the _Are you sure?_ expression made it's appearance. I nodded, pressing my lips back down against his.

It was possible, right? ...Isn't anything possible?

Giving myself to Zack, my first love, my _first_ would feel so right? _Right?_ God, I hoped so. Maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't forgot this city for such a horrible reason. Just maybe, I'd remember so something so wonder. Tell me it's possible - tell me I'm making the right choice. To forget her, after all this time - to forget any hope of a _rebirth_. Zack was handsome, a delicate soul I could make mine.

If there was any hopes of a rebirth - maybe we both could be reborn - have gorgerous children, and live happily together.

I moaned, as his lips found my neck, placing delicate kisses there - my palm would find the nape of his' neck, as my own twisted with preasure. "Don't stop.." I whispered, entangling my fingers into his ebony locks.

Yes... If that was the case...

We laid there - doing the impossible... Well, I guess it wasn't impossible, but very possible indeed. My matted hair brushed back away from my face, just covered with his feathers as we laid there in near silence, what remained was our heavy panting that grew lightly. I was curled up against his' chest, one of his' arms were hidden under me, and reappeared around my shoulder, the other rested under his neck, his face was angled towards mine. I could look up easily, and see him.

Our bodies hidden under his' wings, I twist myself, and found my kisses to plant on his', he had met back willingly taking them in. "Zack.." I moaned, pressing my palms flat and hard against his' chest. It was probably the closest we had ever felt to being alive again. He smiled, and danced his' fingertips against my bare skin.

Was it like this between her and Cloud as well? How they would rest there with each other. Or would he - forget it. I'm too tired to even think now.. I dropped my head against his chest, closing my eyes. "We'll leave in a little while.." He whispered, slipping his' arm from under his' head, and around me, embracing me tightly.

_This love that never lasts, love that fools so easily. Choking on your fear, you no longer see so clearly._

We were standing just outside of the Forgotten City, my hands were deep inside of my strands, twisting and braiding my hair. Zack had his' hands, locked at his fingers, behind his head, his body was slightly arched as he waited for me to finish.

"You're actually waiting?" I faked a gasp, his foot kicked up abit, as he shot me a grin. I couldn't help but giggle as my fingers began to knot the ribbon in my hair. "Amazing!" I gasped, arching myself back on my heels, my hand finding my lips.

He huffed, before launching himself at me, grabbing me up in his arms - I squealed, as I pressed to get away from him - out of his' arms. All to come back, and wrap my arms lovingly around his neck. "You were.." I whispered, as he picked me up in his' arms, and began to walk deep into the forest. My words were silence, with each step me took.

A small _hush_ came from his' lips as he buried his' face into my hair, as to breathe it all in. Was this how she felt with Cloud? What kept her around? Was it that strong? He whispered in my ear, something so touching. I can only look up at him, and smile.

Could he just melt my heart? Keep me away from any thought of her? Just maybe.. I bit my lip as I watched, the background slipping away from the forest of trees, and light dancing through them, into what I could only see of him, his' lips moving into words, and I can't understand the words... No, I couldn't help but to stare.

"Tell me about what we can do..." I finally spoke, cutting him off. His lips curved into a smile. We moved so slowly, if felt like a year before we even felt the city. He carried me so caringly like a lover in his' arms. His' sharp blue eyes only peering down at me with each other word he had spoke.

"There's.." His' lips moved into a word, the start of one atleast, never really forming. He stopped in his' place, lowering my bottom half to the ground - my boots met the ground, as I stepped, afew jump steps, out of his' arms. My focus never leaving Zack. "One thing." He finally spoke, holding up his' index finger to me.

I stared at him, I'm sure the look was just puzzling on my face since he grabbed ahold of me and whispered that it was going to be alright. Not to worry, he'd control everything, he'd get me back..

Wait.. _Me_ back? I shot him a look, pushing myself out of his' arms. "Us." I said, shaking my head. If I wanted her to live her life without me, I'd need him every step of the way. "Us, I'm not going anywhere without you." My words were quick, I shook my head rather rapidly.

"Aerith.." He whispered just looking at me, his eyes half-opened, half-hearted. "I don't know.."

"Don't leave me!" My hands once gentle, turned into fists, and pounded against his' chest - he took each hit, standing there - just breathing it in, his' arms finding my back, "Please, Zack!" It was a beg - that's all I could seem to do. "Please, don't leave me alone out there!" My fists hurt... My palms fell against his chest, laying flat there, as my forehead dropped against his' still heart.

"I'm not going anytime soon.." He spoke as he hid his' face in my hair. "Not ever.." His' voice didn't sound so sure..

"Zack..." I whimpered, drawing back, lifting my eyes to his.

_I will make it go away._


	4. Life?

**3. Life?**

_Cold - we're so cold._

I had to ask myself several times, why I did what I did.. Why I couldn't put it pass her, and understand that.. What am I even saying? I had a perfectly well-rounded man infront of me. A _man_, I had to remind myself.. A _man_. I wanted _her_.

Zack and I laid out against the Earth - it rained that night, so I'm sure you could smell the wet grass, and feel the mud against our backs. We were titltede just enough to were we had faced each other - Zack and I. My arms craddling my head, as I listened to him speak of many things. His arms were folded under his' head, but his body still turned towards me - his' feathers had been nearly flatten against his' body. Even under the star lit sky, and the moonlight dancing down on his' skin.. He looked gorgerous even now... I've thought that alot lately.

I bit my lip - from hard I'm sure I'd been biting down on it lately, I'm sure it would of turned a blood red by now. I'm beginning to wonder why I had whined so silently to myself about it.

Zack was telling me about his' missions out there while he was a SOLDIER. I was proud of him, no doubt at all.

"Zack." I finally said, shifting my weight in his direction, inching my way towards him. "That's all in the past."

Yes, remember your words, Aerith. _PAST._ A place where you can't run to anymore.

Oh, golden chocobo that I'll never have! Please, let me love him!

...I was really trying to force myself to love him.

I twisted myself so I laid on my midsection, propping myself up on my elbows, hooking together my fingers as I stared down at my bracelets. "Tell me what we can do about us... Now."

Zack had fully turned his' body towards me, "Depends.." He whispered back, it was like a secret. "It depends on how much you want to risk." He finally said aloud.

Risk? I ran the tip of my tongue against my bottom lip. What didn't I risk? It was like a night like this.. We saw them.

_Them._ Not just her. Not her dancing to her own melody, not her waiting for him to arrive. No, it was them. Zack began to tell me of details, as I reminded myself why I wanted to do this all.

Just like this; beautiful, starry out, somewhere between midnight and nearly one in the morning. I think I found the stars in the sky, and traced out her name many times that night. Shyly I had placed my name infront of her last, tracing it out like I was playing connect the dots. Zack had led me by hand - never went anywhere without him not leading me around.

I guess it was sound of a protective thing he had going on. From what, I wasn't exactly sure. Yet, he was my protector. The protector of the Cetra. Sure, he wasn't like Cloud - but he grabbed up this role just like he had. I giggled to myself, Zack shot me a look of curiousity, and I'd explain - he would shake his' head.

I couldn't help - would she be my beautiful protector? Guard me from... Whatever's out there. The elements, the weapons out there. Take me into her arms, and whisper that it's alright? Tell me, she wasn't going to let me fall. I could just imagine us at that time.. What if would be like.. As her wife, what roles would we play for each other.

Would she stand up, and be the tomboy she always was? Would I be so ladylike and dawn a gorgerous gown that only her eyes were meant to see.

Zack and I had went around to do our weekly visiting. We figured, since it was high on my list of things to do - we would visit her last. I mean, why not? It was around the same time the golden haired boy would be there.

So we skipped afew hours, and found everyone else.

On our way back, of course, we stopped at her house. We really didn't want to go far that night, no traveling up her stairs, and peering through the window.

No, not this time. This time, we just stood there as the spiky haired man came to the door before us - he appeared nervous. It was a side of him I hadn't seen before... Not only that, he was dressed up. Head to toe in a black tux.

Never thought he'd look handsome in one of them before. I just stared forward, while Zack wrapped his' arms around my shoulders from behind me. My hands had come up to find his' lower arms, and latch on there. I think he whispered something in my ear at that moment. Cloud's hand didn't have to reach for the handle of her door, rather she opened it.

My god, if I could of traded places with Cloud - even for that moment - she was... Truly a goddess. Her medium length locks had been pulled back to a bun, strands here and there had dropped down around her face, framing it so beautifully. Her lips shimmered in a ruby lipstick, eyes outlined with such care. A gown that touched the floor.

As she stepped out from the frame, wrapping her arms around Cloud's neck so lovingly, her lips meeting with his' - jealousy... It was boiling even now. If it wasn't for the sound of her heels clicking against the stone, I could of sworn she was floating.

"She's..." I let out a sigh, pulling myself tighter into Zack so I couldn't run, Zack, in turn, tightened his' grip.

"Beautiful." Cloud finished my thought.

Placing his lips against my lips, he whispered so delicately. _"I'm sorry..." _He had said.

_When you fall, So spent from emotion, She is what, Brings you to your feet._

I bit my lip - harder than before, I'm sure.

The bodice of her gown really showed her mounds, lifting them without support - the dress did it all it seemed. The material trailed just slightly behind her, it was slightly puffed outwards, but dragged - diamonds could rain down from the sky right now, and she'd still be the only thing I'd be looking at. Crystal earrings dangled from her ears, swaying lightly with each move she made.

The only problem I had - letting out a small cry, I had turned towards Zack's chest and buried my face there - as gorgerous as she looked.. She was dressed in _white_.

A tiara was placed so neatly in her hair, a veil running out from under it.

My fingers had began to play with strips of grass - we didn't go to visit them for some time.. I didn't want to know the real answer actually. If she was actually Mrs. Strife... _Strife_, the name growled in my head. Someone I wanted so badly - someone _I_ watched him push away time after time..

"Why can't we be like that, Zack.." I finally said.

Yes, Aerith. It was time to completely forget about her. Even if I didn't want to know the truth - even if she _really_ did marry him.. I somehow didn't want to know.

"Like what?" Zack had rolled in my direction - literally _rolled_ - I couldn't help but to smile.

"Like them."

"Which part of it?"

"Zack!" I huffed, sitting up rather quickly, slamming my palms against the ground. His' eyes opened wide for a moment, but he could tell I wasn't in much of a mood for games.

"Like them.." He nodded, his' body twisted and he fell on his' back, "There's alot to risk, Aerith.." He said that already, my eyes just narrowed.

"Please.."

A nod, it was his' turn to bite his' lip. He knew the information I wanted now, one of my hands rose - cutting him off for any of his' thoughts. "Listen first..." I said, leaning in his' direction, my palm cupping his' cheek. "Everything they are and more..." My opposite palm would lay flat against my midsection.

A second nod, his' face inclined, placing afew presses from his' lips against my palm. "Both, one or none." His' voice was... Fearful. This must be a reason why he never even attempted. "Will make it."

So... what he said even now. Even if I wanted to slip back into her life - just as a friend, one blast from the past - it would be nothing more than a danger.. It would risk his' unlife as well. "What's our chances?"

His' shoulders lifted into a shoulder as he nuzzled his' face into my palm. "Not sure... Never seen anyone even attempt it, never even heard of it."

Truth be told, Zack had spent plenty of time with others - once he learned of my - end, he was at my side nearly every day, yes. We spent time with others, but with what I've learned of as of late, I didn't want to be nearby anyone but him.

I dropped myself to the ground, and crawled over to him, placing my face inches away from his, sliding my hand further back behind his neck, giving his' hairs a small tug, "Just thought about it though.." My lips brushed against his'.

Somehow I felt... Like if I wasn't going to ever get a chance to be with her, I'd surely keep him for myself - I didn't want to lose this.

Zack's lips parted as I spoke, begging for a tender press. I began to twist my fingertips into his' ebony locks, "Just imagine," Another inch closer to his' lips - even if we weren't completely under the way of his' feathery wings, the heat generated from even the smallest touch was nearly unbareable. "You and I." My opposite hand lifted, and drifted around his' waistline, one of my legs lifting and latching around his' own legs.

He moaned - my face flushed - a second tug and our lips pressed together.

Would this be what my life would be like if we hadn't given our lives away? If we'd live right now? Would it be completely opposite, would he of left his' separate way, and I would chase after her?

"Mrs. Aerith Fair, hmm?" His' hands cupped my cheeks, just under the jawline, I giggled at the name. He seemed to be tasting it on his' lips.

_Aerith Fair_, my mind began to play with it. "Aerith Fair." I spoke aloud, tasting it on my own lips, allowing it to dance on my tongue. "Y'know.. I kinda like it.."

Inside, I think I must of screamed like a schoolgirl. Which thought exactly for... I wasn't sure yet, the fact that I was settling for someone I never _quite_ imagined myself with, or just _perhaps_ deep down inside I only wanted her, because I couldn't have him.

Zack had planted afew more, small but tenders kisses to my lips. "Kinda like the sound of that." He said in between each kiss, I laughed, his joyful tone blended with mine, it was a sudden roar of laughter.

I leaned into him, toppling him over - hands quickly planting themselves against - what I would imagine - was the muddy Earth. "Only one way we can do that, Mister Zack Fair." I leaned oer him, trying to wear my brightest smile.

_Life_, I had told myself. That's where we were leading - how I feared for him more than my own well being. If he was lost because of this silly... No, it wasn't silly - it would be terrible.. This terrible path we were about to led, I don't think I'd be able to forgive myself.

Zack only shook his' head - it seemed more thought than anything else - was he dragged me down into his' chest, clutching down onto my being, my arms now craddled under his' head. "You have time, Zack." It was my turn to nuzzle into him, "All the time you want.."

All the time he wanted - all the time we needed, hopefully we could somehow.. Just _SOMEHOW_ perfect a way so this would be completely safe for myself. My eyes began to drift close - his' pure pinions would wrap us in. I pressed my lower half into him, he released a small moan from between his' lips - the want, the desire you could hear from him.

It was almost more than I could bare.. To be wanted - to be loved by someone like him.

Something just told me... It was just time to forget about her, driving myself into a wall for someone I couldn't have wasn't worth it anymore - he was there. He was now. He was gorgerous. His mako tinted eyes had such a fire to them - it was like he was starting to drive me wild.. In every sense of the word.

His' voice, eyes, touch, taste... Everything - the way he looked at him, the way he would touch my face so delicately.

Yes. This _had_ to be right.. It just had to be.

She moved on with her life, she was now - Well, I was sure anyway - Mrs. Cloud Strife. What she had been doing, what she even thought about me was beyond my control now - if she would be carrying one of his' children - even now.

"Zack." I nuzzled at him, beginning to trace my fingertips on his' jawline. "Think it would even be possible.. After all this time." My eyes dropped abit - a mother.. I probably wanted nothing else than to be happy - her happiness - his' happiness... I think it led mostly to his' happiness even now.

He would merely nod. It all seemed so promising, kinda couldn't wait.. Such a trusting thought. "I guess we have time to practice.."

Oh!

My head inclined backwards, Zack's palms found one of my own mounds, his' lips dancing, and trailing against the side of my neck. I couldn't help but to press him deeper into it, one of my hands finding his' on my chest.

If this wasn't right. I don't know what was right anymore.

- _Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, So you don't confuse them with mountains._

I found myself giggle, curled up against his' chest, his' arms wrapped loosely around us - something romantic about being out in the open air, the stars unknowingly having watched our every move. Then I stopped, and just look straight at him. "Zack.." I whispered.

He met my call with a gentle hum, his eyes were closed, his pinions had encased us abit more than before it seemed. "I'm wondering.."

Another hum, he almost seemed to know where this was leading.

A moment of silence was casted upon us. I somehow didn't want to even tell him my thoughts. His' brows are slightly upward. I think he knew.

"What if I wanted to be with her.." I finally said, my fingertips began to trace against his' bare chest, drawing invisible lines, each letter curved and curled into one. "And for some... Unknown reason, she wanted to be with me.."

His' eyes just opened - just _barely_, but they were opened. "I want your happiness..." His' lips found my forehead, and he held the kiss linger for several seconds.. I only pressed into him. "With.. Or without me.." I could hear it in his' voice.. It was hurt, pain.. I felt my eyes water. "Don't press someone to be with you, don't do anything you don't want."

His' fingers would find mine that were drawing on him, gripped them up, and pressed his' lips there. I just whimpered his' name, he only looked up at me with a half-hearted smile. "Let's live, Aerith.." You could see how unsure he was. "Let's live... Just you and I."

It turned into a beg. A plea.

"As Mr. and Mrs." I promised..

I don't think I just wanted to anymore. I think deep down inside. I wanted to. Every moment spent with him, was another that I wanted to have it last even longer. A moment I seemed to forget about her.

Zack bobbed his head, before slipping his' form downward, my body twisted so I was laying on my back, holding my arms opened for a moment before closing him in, his' head would rest on my mounds. "As Mr and Mrs Zack Fair.." He began to taste it on his' lips again, it felt so sure..

Wasn't it?

After that, we laid there in silence...

Oh... What did I write on him?

_I promise to love you..._


	5. Live

**4. Live.**

_You are so beautiful, you are the kind of girl, that has the chemicals to make me fall in love._

How do you explain to someone.. Really explain to someone - without mixing up your words or emotions. That you aren't sure just yet? That you feel like you're testing the waters... That you - yourself - aren't even sure of a thing yet?

The questions I've been asking myself - since Zack left. He promised he'd be there before I knew it. How could I know for sure? How could I be certain the ebony haired angel was going to be there? My mind did nothing but drown itself in the questions.

My entire being had been fading into black - soon there wasn't much left. My eyes had closed - I could part my lips and still... Pretend to taste the air. There I was - the Forgotten City, such a Lost City it truly was.

But in the blink of an eye - your entire world can change - my lips parted and I felt the water rushing it - it was so sudden. I was slapping around at the deepest end of the lake - where my body lay resting.

Kicking and flaring around did nothing for me - my eyes shot opened, vision completely destroyed by the rippling effect I caused.

_Oh God.._

As I tried to breathe in the air - what I could only _wish_ was air - was nothing more than the cool, crisp liquid forcing it's entry inside.. Trying to cough up anything was a fail attempt - though somehow.. Just _somehow_ I managed to balance my feet to the floor of the lake and give a small enough push to launch myself forward - but it was all fading back to black..

As much as I tried to keep my eyes opened - I could feel myself choking - with everything I was still trying to push the water out - when I even tried, it pushed it further down, more pooled inside an -

The rays felt so gentle.. So warm. Fingertips brushed the soaked strands of hair away from - wait... I could feel. Not just a wanting feeling.. I felt lips press against mine - warm breath pushing and forcing it's way down into my mouth - into my lungs.

"C'mon, Aerith!" His' voice was so clear, his hands pressing hard against my chest - I launched upward - grasping as I came up - coughing and hacking away - trying to breathe again.

His' arms pulled around me, steading my body and twisting it so I no longer laid on my back, but rather my front - my arms craddling my head, he'd pull my hair back.

"Z.." I could only manage, my eyes buried down and shut tightly - I began to vomit up the clear liquid. Zack lifted up my upper half, and began to craddle me loosely in his lower arms.

"You going to be alright..?" I could only shake my head, it felt like everything was burning.

"You..." More water, I began to gag. One of his' palms would find my back, gently moving up and down the length. "Came..." I finally spat out when the water ceased, my fingertips brushing against my lips, as to wipe away any excess water.

"Of course..." He nodded, seeing my fits finally over he turned me towards him, my eyes opened just slightly.

There sat a shirtless Zack Fair, myself with my own top half of my dress unbuttoned - yet nothing exposed. I felt so weak, yet I enjoyed the sight I caught - I could actually feel my face brighten and redden - the heat that dance on my cheeks now. How _Fair_ he actually was. Yet, you could see every little scar that was once wounded him so fatally.

He propped me up, a snicker coming from his lips - he must of saw my face.. I curled into his' bare chest. I could feel him breathing... It never seemed so amazing. Simple little actions such as this. The heat from my face - the breaths he took - the touch of his' rough hands to my skin as he pulled the shoulders of my dress back where they belonged.

"Thank you..." I whispered, still taking swallow breaths, heavy each time.. I could still taste the water.

His fingers danced in and around the soaked, down locks of my own. "Your hair looks better down." He leaned in and spoke to my ear - the brush of his' lips to my ear. The shudder than ran down my spine.

_To kiss my lips will leave you cold tonight._

I lowered myself down so the back of my head would find the bend in his' elbow. "How did you know exactly..?" I ignored his' comment, and shot straight for questions. My fingertips found the edges of my dress and I wrapped my fingertips into the drowned fabric, his' arms tightened around me.

"I just knew.." His' voice sounded like it was about to crack.

My eyes followed his' outline, his' head dropped down abit almost puzzled to what we should we be doing next. Silence was such a deadly thing when you don't know what to say, or even how to act.

"Now what.." I whispered, rolling off to the side and onto the ground creating abit of mud as I did. Slowly raising myself to my feet before collapsing to my knees - this time in time for my palms to break the fall.

"First.." Zack nodded, standing to his own two feet, his' hand extending out towards me, I grasped onto it and he'd begin to stand me correctly. "You learn to walk.."

"Let me stay.." I whimpered, closing my eyes, before pulling myself to sit on my legs, face buried in the palms of my hands. I could feel his' eyes on me.

How strange it felt. To feel alive again? No.. Maybe. Letting a sigh roll from my lips, I pulled my hands away, glancing over to Zack's direction. He was standing now, pulling his shirt back over his handsome being. I couldn't help but to feel like a school girl looking at a crush. Something just drove me crazy.

Something dawned on me, and I slowly brought myself to my feet, straggering my way to Zack before nearly falling over - if it hadn't been for him spinning around and checking me before my knees hit the ground. Palms on his chest, I looked up to him, pushing my forehead against his shoulder.

"Where do we go from here." I whispered, eyes in his direction as he began to stead me to my feet.

Afew steps back, and it felt like he was a million miles away - even though he held me by my fingertips, his mako eyes begging me to walk towards him. His eyes told me he wasn't even sure, but his poise told me he was trying to figure something out in his mind. As he stared at me, I held fast to his hands, and began stepping - stumbling towards him.

Nearly falling, being caught and sitting in silence as he began to ramble off ideas to me. We couldn't go back to our _"old lives"_ simply because we weren't suppose to exist in this world anymore.. Physically atleast.

"We'd..." He began, as he caught me to the - well, who knows how many times he caught me and embraced me close before he had me try again. How I ached.. "Have to be someone knew." He whispered as I finally began to stead my steps, and soon didn't need his help anymore.

"What do you mean?" I leaned towards him - finally standing right by myself. My smile felt so full and alive now, then again it was no wonder either. How I _felt_ like myself.

The content, the thrill, the excite. The wind through my hair, the Earth beneath my feet, the smell of the wildlife - the plant life around us. Zack bowed his head, his Mako eyes staying focused on me.

"We can't _be_ Aerith and Zack." He whispered - like someone was spying on us from a distance. I pulled back, leaning back my head and peering towards the sky through the tree lines. You could almost feel the winter zephyr pulling through the air.

"We have to _be_ someone else. We have to..." I turned, beginning to pace as I began to think everything out, "We have to pretend." Zack released a small huff of air - comfirming it all.

He was right through. It felt like an eon since we could walk on our own. It was a wonder Zack could do it all, then again, he seemed to be slightly caked with mud yet. "Alright." I began, beating my palms together. "We'll haveta think of new names.." I breathed, five steps forward - a twist - five the opposite way - repeating. "We really.."

"I know, Aerith." He was leaned over the chill water, cupping his hands together, pooling some of the liquid into his hands, and splashing it up against his face. "We'll be fine." You could hear the water dripping from his sharp features.

I felt a pain in my stomach - lunging forward - one hand on a knee, the other pushing tight against my midsection - a sharp gasp escaping - it felt like it left me breathless. I could feel Zack's eyes on me, "Aerith.." He began, his feet pacing towards me, and soon he leaned infront of me.

I crumbled to the ground.

_"...Aerith."_

_My body shook, I could feel his arms around me, shaking me - like he was trying to wake me up. "This can't be real!"_

_With proud - the voice rang, "Do not worry. Soon the girl will become part of the Planet's energy. All that is left is to go North. The 'Promised Land' waits for me over the snow fields. There, I will become a new being by uniting with the planet. As will this girl..."_

_"...Shut up."_

_The praise cut from the man's voice, he began to shake himself. "The cycle of nature and your stupid plan don't mean a thing." His voice hissed with anger, "Aerith is gone." The reality snapped into him._

_Now I stood just behind them, watching it all transpire. How... happy I felt at that moment. "Aerith will no longer talk, no longer laugh, cry... or get angry..." The spiked hair dropped into my lifeless chest. I wanted to reach out and touch him - tell him everything was alright.. It'll be fine._

_I began forward, inching my spirit towards him - his voice rang out again. It was like I could almost feel the mixed expression welling up inside of him, the rage, the sorrow. "What about us... What are WE supposed to do?" With his head still lowered, he began to lower my body to the alter's floor. "What about my pain? My fingers are tingling, my mouth is dry. My eyes are burning!" He began to shake again._

_Oh, Cloud... I stood there, bewildered, in awe. There was nothing I could really do to reach out. Sephiroth. You stood so proud at yourself, at what you've done.. Cloud crying over my motionless body._

_"What are you saying? Are you trying to tell me you have feelings too?" Sephiroth's arms dropped to his side as he looked down at Cloud - no remorse._

_You could feel the rage welling up, I stood a step back - like I was really there wanting it all happen right there - physically. "Of course! Who do you think I am!"_

_Sephiroth looked on, the chocobo haired boy stood his feet, twirling around to face the murderer of so many. The silver haired man just laughed at him, "Stop acting as if you were sad." He snickered, "There's no need to act as though you're angry either." Sephiroth lifted into the air, I couldn't help but to fall deeper into my awe state. "Because, Cloud.. You are..." Off he floated into the air._

_Between the action, Tifa had came running up - I could physically hear her screaming my name before body and soul parted - watching the conversation between Cloud and Sephiroth.. I couldn't pull my eyes away from them.. I snapped back to my own realization._


	6. Control?

**6. Control...?**

_I need a hero to save me now, I need a hero, save me now. I need a hero to save my life, A hero will save me just in time._

My head was swimming, filled with confusion, lost within itself. I stirred in my _sleep_, hearing shuffling nearby my feet; that's when it dawned on me. We couldn't be in the Forgotten City anymore. There was a sheet pulled over my body, to my neck - as I moved, it did to.

"Not so fast." The voice was humble, I groaned. "You're alright.. You just had some baterica building up in your system." I twisted off to the side, pulling my legs to my chest.

"Am I?" I peered through, glancing up at the man in white. Must be a doctor - I smile, he was atleast smart enough to take me somewhere save.

"You'll be fine." He smiled at me, I couldn't help but smile back. He made me feel calm and at home, "Your friend?" Pausing, he looked at me, I quickly shook my head. "Boyfriend?" My eyes closed, as I bobbed my head. "Brought you in time, you have a nice sized gash on your midsection." He stepped close to me, putting up a hand. "You may?"

I gave him a small nod, and he pulled the sheet from the upper half of my being, my breasts were wrapped up in white linen, he leaned and places a finger nearby the wound. "It was once sealed." He noted out loud, "But something tore it apart again. Afew stitches. You should be alright in afew days. How did you ever come across something like this on a delicate girl like you?"

I closed my eyes, trying to avoid his question, I sighed softly, "Where is he?" The doctor pulled the sheet back over my shoulders.

"Resting." He said before turning his back to me, making notes. He had to elderly, but took decent care of his hair danced with salt and pepper all over. "He carried you one hell of a distance. He had his own scars as well. What happened to you two?" A pen danced on paper.

"Can I see him?" I whispered, pulling myself just enough that I'd prop up on my elbows. The situtation was getting tense - I could feel it. He really wanted to know what happened. Now that he said it... Zack's chest was filled with bullet holes. I frowned, the doctor's pen stopped, head titlted and an eye focused on me.

"Yes of course..." He finally said, "Miss?" He tapped the pen against the paper - he wanted a name... A _name._

I breathed, closing my eyes. I couldn't use my _real_ name. Zack told me we'd haveta figure ourselves out before we moved on. "A name..." I whispered, biting down on my bottom lip.

"I see." He hummed, "Must of hit your head pretty good too. He said you randomly collpased." I nodded. "It's alright, Kalani."

I lifted a brow, "May I please see him.." My eyes dropped, it felt like he knew something right... He was right. I couldn't help but to smile inside. The doctor turned, holding an arm out to me.

"I'll lead you... Just be careful and take your time." I nodded, and took his hand, swinging my legs over the bed - oh thank you, Zack.. For getting my legs working again before this all happened. "If you feel the slightly pain, please let me know." I smiled at the doctor.

He led me down the hall, through an opened door where Zack was sitting up with his head down in slumber, how peaceful he looked. This is probably of the few times I actually saw him sleep. I could help but to giggle at the sight of him - causing a sharp pain through my midsection. I winced, but make sure not to let the doctor caught sight.

I straightened up as he shifted, his body now clothed... How... Normal he looked, I began to move towards him, not long before I sat infront of him, placing my head onto his lap. "Thank you.." I mumbled as I heard the doctor turn and walk out - Zack shifted in his sleep, his hand fell on my shoulder.

"Nice to see you're awake." He yawned, sleeply. I looked up at him, nodding slightly.

"Good to see you're fine.. What happened."

He shook his head, shrugging before leading me backwards, and soon to my feet, he followed in toe - standing and stretching. "I'm not sure... But I did say we wouldn't know what would happen.." He reminded.

"Can we go?" I pulled my arms over my chest, remembering the linen. He smiled at me, before handing me a package.

"Figured you needed something else to wear besides that dress." He was right.. Couldn't help but to wonder what he would of picked out for me. He was dawned out in a pure button down shirt, navy simple pants, finishing off with his brown boots.

My eyes narrowed as I gently took the gift from his hands, and tugged at the paper til it came loose. The pink shown through almost instantly, I peered up to Zack, smiling just softly, before parting the sides and the long pink dress appeared infront of us. I lifted it by the thin straps, it had a heavy darker pink in a thick line across the top.

Pulling my hands from the straps to the fabric itself, I ran my fingers across the silk, looking up at Zack. "It's gorgerous.. How did you...?"

I lifted a brow, how did he get the gil for any of this really, we've been lost for so long. Did he steal something like this? He just smiled, pulling his hands behind his head, and twisted off to the side, "Don't worry about it, I was running through my pockets and found I still had a nice amount hidden within my pockets."

Oh thank god... I nodded, taking afew steps back, "I'll change when we're actually aloud to leave.."

_That heart, held within your body, In those confusing nights, I dream._

It felt like hours before we were actually released.. Well, atleast me, I stood spinning in a small circle, the skirt of the pink had lifted above my knees - it was so light - and danced as it flowed. "Isn't it lovely?"

His arms held across his chest, he gave me a nod, a smile dancing across his lips. As I stopped the skirt slowly came swirling down, swaying just barely as I began to walk pass Zack. We were out in the opened, it had been what... Afew hours? Since we were true again. Body and soul... _Right?_

I breathed, the air felt so fresh in my lungs, bringing my hands behind my back I straightened myself out. "Thank you..." My emeralds wandered in his direction, "But what do we call you now?" I spun and his hand was rubbing the back of his head.

He hadn't thought that far apparently, he had given me the name _Kalani._ Couldn't help but to wonder what it meant. I smiled, bringing a palm to my chest and began to ponder myself. "Zadok?" I leaned, hands behind my back once more, I was at his chest level when I leaned, my eyes focusing up at him.

His eyes had smiled, his lips had copied - one hand finding his hip, the other still at the back of his head. "I guess." He shrugged, something else was bothering him, prying at him. Neither one of us spoke, our eyes began to find the sky. _Kalani_ and _Zadok._ I wasn't going to get used to this, I knew I was going to end up slipping on our real names at some point or another.

Footsteps began to move around us, the city sounded like it was slowly pulling out of his calm and began to start. I held my breath, you never knew what was going to come around the next corner - if it would be someone you knew, someone you didn't. Someone who _knew_ you. I took afew steps towards Zack, and held fast onto him.

My eyes hurt, I closed them for a moment.. Wait.. I opened them again, peering out I caught the sight of chocobo-colored hair... My mind went white.

_The calm forest was so full of life, so full of secrets.. I had poked my head out from around one of the trees._

_"Cloud, can you hear me?" I called out._

_"Yeah, I hear you. Sorry for what happened." He replied, a slight shake in his voice._

_I came out from behind the tree, turning towards the same tree. I couldn't help but smile, "Don't worry about it."_

_"...I can't help it..." He answered back._

_I lowered my head as I slipped back behind the tree, "Oh..." I jumped out from behind a second tree on the opposite side of the first one, not visibly walking between them. "Then, why don't you REALLY worry about it?" Batting at one eye as I took afew steps. "And let me handle Sephiroth." I giggled as I turned pure white - vanishing - and coming out from behind yet another tree._

_"And Cloud, you take care of yourself." I smiled, pacing myself to the back of another tree, off-handedly leaning back, "So you don't have another breakdown, okay?"_

I gasped. What was happening and running through my mind? I must of fallen deeper into his arms, I was pushed against his chest. His head was leaning down, his lips moving as he whispered to me, "What's happening?"

Fright struck into my frame, shuddering as I searched for an answer in his eyes, "Zack..." I whispered, balancing myself to my feet again, as I looked around - no one had taken notice. "What..." I breathed, closing my eyes, "Were those... side effects..."

He shook his head, I knew this was no place to be discussing this. Yet, I had to know, I had to know why this was happening to me. Why was I repeating everything that happened in my life when I met Cloud and everyone else? Why was I going back between everything..

"We'll.." He whispered, a small shrug of his shoulders. "I'm not even sure myself. What's happening?" Zack released me, I pulled back.

"I'm..." I paused, closing my eyes, before bringing my hands - palm touching palm - to my cheek. "I'm not even sure." My hands moved, and I shook my head, the braid flying around and almost connecting with someone.

"Watch it!" The voice was almost chipper, the girl moved swiftly - a jump backwards a moment before it slapped her in the face.

Zack looked up, a hand meeting the back of his head as he smiled at the girl. "Sorry. It's hard to control a thing like that, huh, Kalani?"

I gave him a funny look before I nodded, a surprise hitting my own face. I spun around, jumping to my tippy toes, "Yes, I'm sor-" My words stopped dead, I looked at the girl.

She dressed in a navy blye tank top with a white flowered design underneath a sleeveless dark gray vest. She wore a belted hip-pack against her right hip, black khaki. My eyes opened wide before, placing my hands to my mouth. Zack knew, he look a moment to look at us both.

Both of us wide eyed, in disbelief. "What did he say your name was?" Yuffie leaned forward, trying to get a closer look at me. I turned my face away.

"Kalani." I muffled through my hands.

"You look..." She paused, as she began to pace around us, she was taking in every inch of detail. How she could remember after all this time, I bit my lip and prayed for the best.. I hoped she didn't think what I _knew_ she was going to say. "Nah.." The girl whispered, before brushing afew dark strands of hair out of my eyes.

I peered down at her arm, she wore a pink ribbon around her upper arm. I couldn't help but to wonder why. I breathed for a moment, closing my eyes before bringing my hands back down before she made a full lap around us. I reached out and took Zack's hand into mine. "The ribbon?" I questioned.

She stood infront of us for a moment, hands on her hips. "For someone I miss." She replied, before a hand came up. "Hmm.." She hummed, before giving us a quick wave. "I'll see ya around then, I guess." She turned off - but not before taking a double take.

Once she was out of sight, I spun around and looked up at Zack. "We need to switch things up abit..." I whispered, tugging onto his digits.

The true risk of being caught like this - when you're suppose to be resting in a watery grave was something else. This... The shock of everything was digging into me. "Please.." I winced.

Zack smiled, placing his hands on my shoulders, "Don't worry about it... Just relax, the more worry..." I smiled, shaking my head, giving him my best _I know, you're right_ face. "Everything's going to be fine, Aerith."

Watching him breathe my _real_ name was relaxation all it's own. My eyes wandered around, before Zack would take my hand and led me off. My eyes caught her..

They caught _her_. I lowered my head, so the arched bangs would hide my eyes, I peered at her through the strands. She was standing there... Infront of a building, moving packages from one location to the back of a truck. My heart stopped as she looked up for a moment to brush her dark locks from her honey eyes.

I leaned into Zack, as she walked, her eyes had lifted and her mouth opened for a moment - her eyes narrowing - we were out of sight.


	7. Lockhart

**7. Lockhart.**

_Am I falling in love? I just can't stop. Am I yearning for you? No way. Why can't I let it go? I'm not fool for love. But this feeling won't stop. Am I falling in love? I gotta take control._

Zack got a job with odds and ends of his skill, he told me several times that he'd love to go visit his parents. I couldn't help but to shoot him a glare, he knew better, but his thoughts were just. I could understand how he felt. How I wanted to visit Mom, see her finally, and tell her everything that I experienced.

I breathed. It had been several weeks since she caught my eyes, and I caught hers. Oddly, enough.. I worked at the Seventh Heaven with her - we never were in the same room long.

Several weeks since I saw my favorite little materia thief, I couldn't help but to look back and laugh when I think back to Wutai.

Amazingly enough, I got a part-timer bartending in a nearby shop close to where we saw her before. We haven't crossed paths at all yet.

I leaned back in my chair, my elbows finding the top of the table as I watched Zack across from me.. Something about him, I couldn't help but smile. Everything was just so peaceful about him. He was mowing through his food, I just shook my head and pulled back, dropping my head over the back of the chair, my hands touching my stomach, pressing my palms flat against the cloth of the dress.

"Everything alright?" Zack was wiping his lips with the back of his hand when I looked up. I smiled and nodded. He peered down at my hands, and leaned forward towards me, his eyes were unmoving from their stare. He was snapped into a protective mode.

I grinned harder, laughing off a small laugh. "Everything's fine." I looked out the window of the kitchen area, and pulled back out of my chair, standing and pushing the chair back into place. "You need to go." I nodded, stepping towards him and placing a small kiss to his forehead.

He would nod, remove himself from the chair and head out of the door. Once it shut, I crawled my way up to bed and curled up there, in afew hours I'll be ready to go to work and finish out the rest of the day.

_Chapter one. "I want to encounter it" No tragedy, Only fantasy. Honey - honey - At any time, you're feelin' melancholy, Just call on me. I'll be there, you'll see._

_"Hel-lo!" I called when the dark haired boy fell onto my flower bed, "Hel-lo! Horray!" He stirred, opening his eyes._

_"..Heaven?" He said, his eyes opened and seeming abit dazed._

_"Not quite. Church in the slums." My hands were behind my back, he began to sit up. "Hm?" I tilted my head._

_He was sitting upright, looking at me. His eyes had a beautiful glow of the sky, "An angel..?"_

_I shook my head, couldn't help but to smile abit, "No." I replied, leaning over him abit, "I'm Aerith!" My eyes narrowed, and I spun around on my feet so my back was angled to him, an arm moved up as I pointed upward. "You fell from the sky. Scared me." I turned back to him, lowering my head abit as I lowered my arm._

_"So you saved me, huh?" He rested an arm on his leg, while the other balanced him from behind._

_I turned so my back was away from him again, hands behind my back. "Not really..." I rocked on my heels for a moment, before replaying my actions from before. "Hell-llo! That's all I did."_

_He laughed, I turned back around, blinking. He rocked himself back on his upper back, before launching himself forward with his palms against the wooden floor and landing on his feet, kneeled abit before standing at his full height. "Thank you so much, Aerith." He smiled as he turned to me, "I'm Zack." Arms across his chest, he had a small smile on his lips. His head tilted abit as he looked at me. "I have to repay you somehow."_

_I shook my head, "Don't worry about it."_

_"No, no.." He said starting to pace away as he think of an idea, a finger under his chin just as quickly as he turned away, he was back around again. "Hey, how about one date?" He said pointing at me, before holding up his index finger._

I was pacing myself as I wandered off to work, being ever so careful. So careful, I had pulled my hair into a messy bun, strands floated around my shoulders. The arches in my bangs was nothing I could do about, the twirls of the curls were almost out of control unless I really tried to tame them.

Felt like eyes were on me, for such a time. I couldn't help but to feel like this. It was something I couldn't overcome just yet... I breathed as I looked up at the enterance of the bar.

Metal encasted everything. It was purely metal, with a _7_ in an upper corner. I breathed, I knew what it meant, and I knew who could be there most of the time. Yet, most of the time, she was busy so I lucked out. I began towards the doors and opened them. To my surprise, it was oddly silent.

I looked around, "My.." I whispered as I appeared in the empty room, I looked over and breathed shortly before holding my breath. She was there, her hands moving carefully as she wiped down the counter in the far corner of the room.

The chairs were pushed in, the over head fan swirled softly, "Slow time.." I called out as I paced towards the counter. I watched her dark locks bounce as she nodded slowly.

"Yes." She finally replied as she left her hand rest on the cloth, "Kalani." I couldn't help but to melt as she hummed my name, it was like my own secret melody.

_Baby, please, fall in love, my heart is pounding now. Baby, please, take a chance with love's magic._

Zack knew.. He really did. He knew I worked with her, I'm sure he understood why. You could read it in his eyes.

I sat in a chair at the counter, the metal was cold against my back. It seems no one might of been here all day. I breathed.

_Baby please, fall in love my heart is pounding now._

"Kalani. I need to talk to you."

"Oh...?" I placed my arms on the counter, leaning against a palm. "What about.." My heart stopped.

She took my hand in hers - I breath stopped - her hands were so soft, her touch so gentle. "Come with me for a moment, would you?" She said, I couldn't help but to do as she commanded. I was like a puppy on a short lease, following its master.

"Is something wrong?" I questioned as I moved out of my seat, and she led me around the counter by my hand.

I could only breathe for each word I spoke. As I moved closer - she was breathtaking. "Not at all," She smiled, as she led me into the next room, "Just some girl talk." Her honey eyes danced as we stepped into the next room, as she closed the door behind us.

_Girl talk.._ I told myself, that must be all.. I breathed, and slowed my breath as I bit my lip. She led me to the nearby bed and sat me down.

"You look..." She paused as she smoothed out the leather skirt, touching the fabric ever so gently with her fingertips."...So much like her.."


	8. Love Paradox

**8. Love Paradox.**

_Let's have a bursting love. Baby please, take a chance, love's true romance. Little by little, I'll let it bloom._

I choked, _You look so much like her._ I breathed, those moments felt like hours, "Excuse me..?" I whispered, coughing abit, I pressed my fingertips to my lips.

"I closed the Seventh Heaven today." She admitted - it explained alot, I could only nod. "Tell me, Kalani.. Where did you come from?"

Truth be told, I didn't want to tell her anything, I breathed, holding my breath every few moments I took. What to say, what to say... "Umm.." She gripped onto my wrists - something didn't feel so delicate anymore. "Tifa!" I cried out - she caught me by surprise.

Frankly, she didn't even hire me - there was another girl here at the time, she had simply smiled - told me I was hired and left after that moment. Then again, she hadn't seemed very happy either at that time.. I managed to pick up everything on my own. Thankfully. Never really came into contact with Tifa, except afew hi's and bye's there.

"Tell me." She almost demanded, I jerked my arms away from her - she didn't let go.

"I think I need to go.." I said as I stood up and stepped towards the door, I went for the handle and it didn't move - she locked it - she gripped me from behind and pulled me back roughly.

I gasped.

Her hands were on my dress, her fingertips dancing along the silk cloth - I held my breath. I almost wanted to scream - the fighter was straddling me, her legs resting against my thighs. I couldn't move - couldn't breathe.

"Tifa..." I whispered, trembling - her fingers were searching from something - _THE SCAR_ - my mind screamed, "Please, don't..." I begged, as she searched, she stopped - her eyes focusing on me.

She breathed, "I know.." She admitted, leaning close to me - I could feel her breath on my skin - my skin crawled with goosebumps, to be this close to her only made me dance with joy - my heart pounded against my chest. "..." She paused, breathing slowly.

_Girl talk, _huh? This is what you call girl talk? I'd almost hate to see foreplay... No, that's a lie.

The silence was so tense, you could cut the air with a knife. I breathed, tugging and twisting my arms from under her powerful legs - finally came free, barely the fighter lifted her weight off me, freeing me really. "Tifa... Listen..." I whispered, placing my palms against the bed, inching myself away from her.

Her lips - so full and pink. Oh, how I wanted to press mine against hers.

Her eyes - so... lovely. Oh, how they burned with fire.

Her skin - so delicate and glowing. Oh, how I yearned to run my fingertips against her flesh.

She didn't pull me back. "Aerith..." She whispered - I couldn't help but to watch her tongue dance in her mouth, I melted again -

_Wait.._

My heart stopped. I gripped the sheets with my digits - til my knuckles turned white.

"Why..." She continued, she moved her hands so her fingers wrapped around my wrists - I was pinned. She moved my arms above my head. "You shouldn't be alive..." She held her breath for a moment. "I watched..." She paused, picking her words. "You know..."

_Should I fold before stakes get high? Before I get hurt again, Or take a chance on love to last all time._

I breathed. What should I do, what should I do.. Should I fold and show myself, should I admit to everything. I closed my eyes, my throat felt swollen - my eyes burned. I should smell her perfume. It danced within me - I could smell her. I shuddered. "Please.." I whispered, opening my eyes slowly, she was so close to my face - to my lips..

I couldn't...

"Please..." I cried out, so softly. A whisper in the wind. "I don't know what you're talking about..." I lied.

It hurt - it hurt so badly.

She scoffed, tossing back her head, before her eyes fell on me again. If Materia could fall into her eyes, and cast fire - this would be the time.

"Junon." I choked out - I lied. It hurt. She wasn't going to let up. I knew it. She knew it.

Tifa finally started moving, she released me fully.

She walked towards a window, it casted a light to her fragile face, I sat up, and pressed my palms to my midsection - how sick I felt. "Fine.." She whispered, how defeated I felt.

"I'm sorry, I look like your friend.. I don't understand." My words choked, as I closed my eyes.

"You look so much like her.." Her fingers were tracing the windowsill, "I'm sorry.." She whispered. I breathed - it was more out of relief than anything.

I was so frightened at this time. I leaned on my knees, pulling straight on the skirt of my dress. I couldn't help but wonder... What, or how she felt about _her friend_. I closed my eyes, and stood to my feet, I took afew steps towards her as she leaned forward - bringing on my most brilliant smile. "Tell me about her...?" I called out, she turned to me.

She lifted a brow, before glancing back out the window. Oh, how the light danced on her face. How it shone through to her gorgerous honey eyes. A sorrowful smile drew across her lips. She moved and sat down in a nearby chair, leaning back as she pulled her arms across her bust.

Her head shook. I couldn't help but wonder what kind of information I could get from her... How she felt about me... The truth? I held my breath.

_With nothing, A lock without a key._

"I'm sorry.." I bowed my upper half towards head, dropping my head, chestnut locks floating around my shoulders, bangs hiding my eyes as they burned. "If you ever want to talk-"

Tifa had moved - my eyes lifted - her fist found its way against the wall. The leather of her gloves crackled as she pulled her hand back. "Damn.." She whispered, before breathing. It was a moment to remember the dead. Her rememberance began to bury her.

"She was..." She paused as she picked out her words, she placed her fingertips to her lips, as if to taste something. "Delicate." She finally released her thoughts. She peered at me, "You look so much like her." I forced a shy smile, "The way you walk, the way you talk, the way you are.."

She huffed as she pulled her arms across her bust, and stepped towards the door, unlocking it with a single _click_. "I guess everyone has a twin." The door opened, she glanced back at me, as if to look for a reaction. I just nodded, coming up behind her. I waited for her to exit. "She.." She paused.

Her honey hues fell on the ring on her finger. She focused on that for several moments before speaking again. "She.."

Tifa looked at me, focusing her eyes on me. "Was the only woman whom I actually loved.."


	9. Pain

**9. Pain.**

I want to give you everything, I'll give you my all.

I thought that I could smile, and nod my way through. But tears flooded my eyes, and I silently cried. My chest hurt as I breathed, and heaved, Tifa just stared at me before wrapping me up in her arms. "Was it something I said?"

Oh no, not at all. It was something I can't say.

Zack had appeared in the pub, from the sounds from my sobs he had came running over. The main door was still unlocked. He looked at Tifa, his voice broke out with question concern of what happened, why is she.. and so on.

I pulled myself from Tifa's grasp and fell into Zack's. Embracing myself closely to the dark haired man. The one whom I promised everything to - the one I promised to love... My heart pounded through my ears.

Tifa and Zack spoke over my sobs, Zack nodded as he listened to the story, and pretended to be surprised. More upset ran through his voice as they spoke. Tifa tried speaking to me, extending her apologies to me. She didn't tell him everything.

Aerith has checked out, please leave a message after the beep.

Zack took me home, and just peered back at Tifa as we left. I spent several minutes dabbing my eyes, and blowing my nose.

Atleast at home, we could be ourselves, and not someone whom we couldn't be. We sat at the kitchen table, my fingers digging into tissue after tissue, ripping it apart. Zack sat across from me for atleast half an hour before we spoke.

"What happened.." He finally asked. It was like he could see through me, he could tell something else was still nipping at me. I smiled at him as I torn through more linen.

"She said.." I breathed, my eyes dropping again - my heart hitting the bottom of my stomach, it rocked there. I choked on my fear, "It's nothing." I smiled out, as I shook my head wildly, "Forget about it." I forced that smile, my lips felt like they were cracking.

I felt like I was cracking, if felt like I could shatter and expose a woman who was curled up in the corner of my being, crying and screaming at the top of her lungs - wanting to reach out to that woman she loved.

There stood Zack.

He broke me in half, and had been through so much for me. How could I disappoint him now?... No, it wouldn't be disappointment, it would be complete destruction.

"Sorry.." I finally let out as I stood and walked away. "I need to be alone for abit."

Zack had followed me with his eyes as I floated out of the room, and up the stairs. "She said she loved you, didn't she."

I froze, his voice had echoed through my head. I felt like I was being ripped into two different persons.

"Aerith.." Zack stood at the bottom of the stairs, my head dropped. I spun around to him on my heels, flinging my arms behind my back.

I felt so ashamed. "I'm sorry..." It was the only thing that sounded logic at that time, I'm sorry, I hurt you, I'm sorry for what you're probably feeling, I'm sorry for everything we're going through, I'm sorry because I know I'm going to hurt you even more..

My name is Aerith Gainsborough.

"Please, Zack..." It felt so good to actually speak his name. It ran through my veins, he lived inside of me now.. He was apart of me. "I'm sorry.."

His mako eyes expressed their hurt, his lips curled with a gorgerous smile. He took afew more steps, enfolding his' arms around my waist, pressing his forehead to my stomach. I felt a kick inside of me, Zack's eyes were closed.

We both want to believe it'll last, we both wanted to know it to be.

When will I find the perfect words to say, I'm tired of burning papers, I didn't mean to throw away, I didn't mean to throw away.

I placed my hands to the back of his head, my fingertips danced and weaved through his spiked locks. It was probably the first time we've thought about what would happen if..

I whispered, I paced the free hand on the railing of the stairs as he kneeled infront of me. It was like it knew he was nearby.

The pain I felt.. I didn't have any idea how I felt, what I wanted to do.. My head felt like it was swimming.

"Sorry.." He finally said as he released me. I knew how he had felt, filled with so much joy and pride at some point, knowing that finally his world was getting back underwraps and then it getting shattered with chances.

He had nothing to feel sorry for. I turned away and floated up the stairs, through the hallway until I found our bedroom, where I crashed on the bed. Burying my face in the pillow, I began to weep.

How could we deal with anything at this point now? What should I really do at this point? Should I confess to Tifa whom I actually was? Should stop everything and peel off to be in her arms?

I turned to my side. Pressing my palms against my stomach.

_The masamune pierced through my stomach, ripping and tearing the delicate skin. My being fell limp, once in my prayer - my eyes widen. I felt it... I felt the bleed dripping, making a trail down the sword's length - I saw her. Her honey hues just as wide as ten gil in a circle - I could see the.._

_What was I staring at? What was her expression trying to tell me? My arms fell to my sides - my body was drifting forward._

My mind trailed back to that time.. What were her eyes telling me then, even back then... Why was I so blind to her back then.. I felt the bed sink as Zack sat next me, his hand covering ontop of both of mine.

"We never should of.." He spoke softly, I smiled, peering up at him through my leashes.

"We both wanted her." I replied, trailing my thumb against the fabric.

Because you gave me your lips a gentle kiss. The medicine to cure my pain.

Everything that happened within the last twenty-four hours.. I closed my eyes, moving my hands ontop of Zack's. I pressed his palm there, and moved it.

A _kick_.

It screamed, _I'm here_,_ please don't be mad._

_ I gave myself to Zack Fair._

We didn't tell anyone, how we wanted to scream it out to our parents. Run into their homes, and tell them to cheer, rally with joy.

"It'll never be a mistake." I smiled, pulling his hand around my stomach with each kick I found.. I could feel the heartbeat ticking away.

Even if the glass shatters.

I turned onto the opposite side, placing my head into Zack's lap. He would tug locks of hair behind my ear.

Could we hold onto everything? Could I actually battle away my demons, or was I overreacting because I knew the truth... I'm sure she knew... But, I knew.. Zack leaned his being over me, as if to create a protective barrier.

Perhaps, we moved on too quickly.

"I still love her.." I choked out. He knew.. But I just felt like I had to voice it for both of us.

"I know.." He nodded, Zack was focusing on the beats that touched his palm.

It was _us_ in there.

How could I face Tifa like this?

There was no use..

I'm lost and lonely, scared and hiding.

_ I'm in love with Tifa Lockhart.._

I thought I could move on, I thought I could hand everything that life would throw at us. "Ayanna.." I whispered, glancing up. "That's what I want to name her."

Zack smiled, his mako eyes couldn't hide the fears that danced in them. "Ayanna, it is then.." Pieces of joy returned to his voice, as he buried his face in my head.

_ I'm pregnant, and it's Zack.._

"Ayanna.."

It felt like so long after that day until Tifa and I had spoken to each other, but when we did it wasn't long, nor was it about anything of true importance, it danced and touched on the subjects of work, and how the baby girl was getting along. I couldn't help but to find comfort in her words, and in her company.

We _really_ didn't talk. Cloud had appeared in the Seventh Heaven several times, we spoke, giggling and laughing as the days dragged on. Tifa seemed completely disconnected from me, she seemed disconnected from the entire world really. It was like nothing else really began to exist. Everything had ceased around her.

_When the world comes crashing down and the sky begins to fall, I'll wait for you. When the days grow old and long and my skin turns into stone, I'll wait for you. When the pain it seemstoo much and my heart start beating out of touch I don't need a thing, I'll wait for you.._

Pain and agony danced throughout my body. I would question the chocobo haired man what was wrong with her. He would simply reply they had began to have problems, and I should actually discuss anything with her.. She needed a friend..

Needed a friend, huh? I wanted to be more than just friends with her. I wanted to chase the honey eyed girl through the meadows. I wanted to help bathe the girl - even if she really didn't need the help.. I wanted to danced with this woman, embracing her closely in my arms - never letting her go..

I would only tell Cloud I would try to talk to her.

Pain had been dancing through the skies apparently, and landing itself on her heavy shoulders.. He would smile, thank me, and we'd go on separate ways.

It was a late night in the Seventh Heaven til I saw Tifa again. She looked worn out, and drained. Her fresh looking appearance had been replaced with one's of an older age, and built with worry, thought and possible sorrow..

"Tifa.." I had called out from the distance of the bar, cleaning off a table as she began to close down shop and shoo everyone from the insides.

She didn't reply, but I knew she heard me. I had paused, peering up at her. She was looking at me. I sighed, before I knew it I was running up to the dark haired woman, and pressing her back against the door, gripping her strong arms with my delicate hands.

"I'm so sorry..." I pressed myself into her, she stared down at me, her hues wide as she peered on.

Zack and I had separated. He told me that he would be around whenever I needed him, whenever the baby had arrived.. He would be there every step of the way.

I couldn't hold my promise to him. It broke my heart. We knew it wasn't going to work.. Not with Tifa still in the picture and around..

"Kalani.." Tifa spoke as surprise raised up in her voice.

"..Not Kalani..." I replied, I closed my eyes and held my breath.

_My name is Aerith Gainsborough. I'm in love with Tifa Lockhart. I gave myself to Zack Fair. I'm pregnant with his child._


	10. Echo

NOTES: I've actually had some text within the last chapter that was suppose to show up, but it never actually did. Haha. I was looking at it in my word document and wondering what was happening. Sorry, it felt like so long since I even began to write.

I'm _really_ trying to capture a woman's feeling between someone she's already with, and trying to press for that person her heart yearns for. So, if nothing really means sense at times, or is really hard to keep up. This is kind of the reason why.

**10. Echo.**

_Like the rising tide, Beating hears grow but never die. To simplify, I'll stand by your side, Close my eyes, Hope will never die._

I stood infront of a mirror, it felt like my fingers were trying to wrap themselves into the marble.

_"Not Kalani.."_

Events of last night played through my mind, I couldn't take my eyes off the ends of my long strands. I was so close to her lips, the scent that drifted up and off her skin, mixing between untouched food and smoke had me turn and flee.

My head was in a toilet moments later. Tifa was knocking at the door, asking if I was alright. Between the gags and sobs, I demanded she left me alone.

I couldn't help but to wonder what Zack was doing.. What was he doing at this time, was he digging his to the center of the Earth? Was he doing the same thing I was doing? Standing infront of a mirror and wondering what I was doing?

Was he regretting even saving me from the water in the city? I breathed, and glanced over at the phone sitting ontop of the sink just behind handsoap. I shook my head, before bringing an eyelining pencil to my lower lid, just slightly tracing on the thin line, and doing it to the opposite side.

Without a second thought, I was dialing Tifa's number and listening to the ringing in my right ear. Her angelic voice danced through the phone, a shiver ran down my spine.

"Kalani?" She called from the opposite end.

I bit my lip, staring into the reflection, almost focusing on the emeralds in my eyes. "Tifa, we need to talk.." I breathed, placing a hand on my midsection. "About what happened last night."

She was hesitate to agree, I was thankful and my heart screamed while my mouth explained where to meet her, what time to be there, and that I'd treat her to dinner.

_You look at me through clouded eyes, I know you can see through my lies._

We whispered our goodbyes before she hang up first and I waited on the other line until the phone til the tone was flat in my ear.

I had to explain myself to her, I was so close to her, pressed up against her body, mine to hers, hers to mine. I could of been her lover at some point... I wonder if her love is the same? Will she still love me as _Aerith_?

My fingers danced through her hair, lifting and dropping parts of it. Lifting the strands high up to the top of the back of my head, locks dancing at my shoulders and just under my naked belly button.

_See the sky, see the stars, All of this could be ours_.

_It wasn't a date, Aerith._ I had to tell myself. _She only agreed..._ I couldn't place to why she even agreed.

There was an knock at the door. To walk down the stairs? Or hope they leave? I sighed as I wrapped a robe around my shoulders, and tugged the strap tightly above the bump. Soon, descending down the staircase, flinging opened the door and finding Zack on the opposite end. We both just stared at each other.

My eyes dropped to his hands, he carried a single rose in one hand, "Not loving you is harder than you know."

He broke the silence first, and I closed my eyes. Inside of me now, there was only heartache and pain. I wonder if we could really be lost in time. I felt a hand touch my cheek. "I'm trying to let go." He gulped down.

With eyes narrowly opened, I peered up at him, he extended the rose in my direction, my fingers reached and gripped the thorny stem carefully. It began official, I began trapped myself in a love triangle.

"I'm sorry." I felt like a broken record, stuck on a sappy love song skipping over all the other lyrics but the ones that beg for forgiveness. "I still want you around for Ayanna." He inched closer to me. "I still need you around for me.. But.."

I held my breath. He was so close again, I felt his breath on my skin. He smelled like sugar and cloves. "Think about it.." His voice seemed to stumble over itself. "You really shouldn't be trying to break up any little happy home _they_ have."

My heart sank. My heart leapt when Tifa and I talked privately. Now it took a nosedive.

_Close my eyes, Let the whole thing pass me by. There is no time to waste asking why._

I shook my head, the loose locks whipping through the air, "You're wrong.." I cried.

He was right. He was drunk, but right..

"Aerith, please." I pulled him inside, and slammed the door as he said my name. My back pressed against the glass in the window, I couldn't help but to stare at him.

"Do you really think..." I began, pressing my fingertips to my temples.

_ Do I except to change?  
>The past I hold inside,<br>With all the words I say.  
>Repeating over in my mind.<br>Some things you can't erase._

"My god..." I ended, before crumbling forward.

The arms of one Zack Fair catching me into his arms. He craddled me, and pulling strands out of my face. "Aerith.." He whispered, sitting me up. "You need to stop that in your condition."

My heart ached, my hand pulling the top of the robe taut against my skin. "I'm meeting her in an hour.." I confessed.

His mako eyes just watched me, they closed behind the lids as he shook his head. "It's not a good idea."

The words of battling demons was doing abit far. This was going from one extreme to the next. He began to talk to me, trying to talk me out of it. His voice only seemed to echo through the walls, and bounce back trying to reach me. I couldn't hear him, I was so far away. He was right.

I shouldn't be _trying_ anything. I pulled my legs to my chest, and embraced myself. We shouldn't of split. I should of stayed with him, raised Ayanna by his side, and pretended to be the happy wife as I watched the woman I loved from afar.

But it wasn't truly like that. Zack knew what I wanted, but we hadn't planned for the future. "Do you understand?"

I sighed, and unwrapped myself as I stood up. I peered at a nearby vase that held daisies, and placed the rose between them. "I'm meeting her in an hour.." I whispered, fingers wondering to arrange the flowers. I smiled, half heartfelt. "I wanna tell her everything." Her hands were around the base of the vase, I peered over at Zack, my head tilted sideways as I watched him walk into the kitchen.

His footsteps froze, once heavy, they sprinted to my direction, and his hands grabbed my forearms. "You can't." He spoke quickly, "You want to go back to watching her from a distance?"

"What.." I whispered.

_The catch_... He finally figured it out?

His face began dark, as his black strands hovered over his eyes. "Please, Aerith.." He whispered, "Don't tell her anything.."

My heart seemed to float out of my chest, my breath shortened before I couldn't feel the ends of my toes. Everything always felt so humble with Zack - was I really -...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Vanilla...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Vanilla? Why should I smell vanilla?

_"Mommy?"_

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

My skin crawled. Please, tell me I was dreaming.

_"Don't change anything just yet..."_

The voice was so tiny. The girlish tone was stumbling over itself own words, probably trying to figure out everything on its own.

_"Daddy knows."_

Oh god..

Ayanna.

_"You'll be okay, mommy..."_

What was I doing anyway? Why was everything so dark?

_"You'll be p.." _She stumbled, as she tried to pronouce the word. _"P...Pun..."_

Punished?.. If I tell her?

_"Yeah, that's it!"_

You can hear me?

The voice giggled, _"Yeah, mommy! I'm right here!"_

...Oh..


	11. Realize

Notes: Roffle. Regardless the last chapter, lemme say that I am female, but I haven't really gone through anything like this. :) It's trial for me.

**11. Realize.**

_Standing on the edge,  
>Battle in my head,<br>I'm dying to know,  
>I'm dying to know,<em>

A waterlogged rag was pressed against my forehead, I groaned as I shuffled around in the boy's lap.

"Don't move too fast." His voice was of concern. I opened my eyes, Zack's blurry figure was infront of my eyes. I couldn't help but to smile, I wasn't sure if it was because of the daze. "What happened?"

I shrugged, pressing the rag to my head, "My punishment for wanting to live?" I queried aloud.

He snickered, shaking his head slowly, before inching himself from under me and sitting at my side as I turned. "You were out for half an hour.." He told me, his head dropping, as he brushed back spikey strands. "Really worried me." He confessed.

Worried you? Aren't you the one hiding things from me right now? I groaned, and bobbed my head innocently. "Sorry, no idea what happened there." I lied.

What happened there? Good question right. From what had hurt me, and what had happened.

"Wait.." I paused, turning my sights to him, "How long was I out?" I felt like screaming, I couldn't believe this, it was half an hour to where I promised. My heart pounded through my ears.

I sighed, shaking my head, staring at Zack, he watched me, every breath, every action I took. Bowing my head, I shook my head. "You're right.." I whispered.

He smiled. Sitting up with my legs tucked to my chest, tugging the shoulder of the rube that had fallen. I smiled back, my heart sunk further into my stomach. I laid back against the headboard, and placed my hands ontop the bump.

"What should I really do.." It was more of a question directed at the child within.

Zack had floated his way to the nearby window, and peered out of it, "You shouldn't go, you should call her back and tell her something came up." His palms were flat against the top of the window ledge. He stretched his body out, arching his back, and those mako eyes peering back at me.

I smiled, eyes closed as I cradled the bump. Cradled Ayanna. What was it that Zack knew that I didn't exactly? Punished was a wide term, and could be ranged from any number of things. I could simply lose Ayanna, or perhaps someone near and dear.

Oh, how I missed my mother... What would she tell me to do in a time like this?

I could imagine, Zack's voice began to talk aloud, discussing his thoughts of what exactly I should do in a time like this. Tell Tifa I was mistaken, and was almost confused about who I was, and what was going on.

"Zack." I called out, "I need to really figure this out..." I told him, it felt like a game of tug-of-war. I should do this, no do that. Yet, he was ultimately right..

If Ayanna was telling me the truth - though I don't see why she wouldn't - then... What was happening when I didn't know? What was actually going on?

_"Think about it.. You really shouldn't be trying to break up any little happy home they have."_

His words echoed through my head, I closed my eyes, my mind traveling a mile a minute. It was seeming to become all to clear. It was like the answer was nibbling at the tips of my toes, beckoning me to do what I _knew_ I should do, and what I should _avoid._ If I had to make a choice before all of this had happened...

I mean, _really_ make a choice with knowing everything I knew now.. I should just turn away, and leave. It was true, everything was so humble and comforting with Zack. How would everything be with Tifa? What would happen between Tifa and Cloud and what happens between everything else that'll go on?

I opened my eyes, peering out the window, "Zack." I whispered, extending my hand out to him. He peered back, and drifted to my side, kneeling down on one knee, as he interlocked his fingers with mine, I tightened my grip on his digits.

I felt like he was beckoning me closer, I felt like I was battling between inner demons. You should do this, no you should leave and run away with Zack. You should know better, Aerith. Think about the fact of what you'd really want done yourself? Would you want someone running away with Tifa like you're trying to do if _you _had her. Really think about it, how do you think Cloud feels with you over his shoulder trying to peel apart their relationship at the seams.

He tilted his head slightly off to the right side, his eyes focusing on me, waiting for an answer.

My inner demons battled and raged.

What you should really do is to run away with Zack.

No, no that won't do at all.

You can't just run away with Zack, leave her behind.

Yes you could, you've put yourself into so much torment.

Aerith, you're pregnant with Zack's kid anyway. Do you really think she'll want to be with you at this time anyway?

You don't know what she really wants.

I'm sure he could see the thought building through my mind, seeing those the windows of my eyes. "What is it?" He said, finally breaking the silence.

I placed a hand on my stomach, and soon dragged his along with mine, "Let's leave this place.." I closed my eyes, I could feel bile in my throat. I wasn't sure if it was the words, or that I may actually just throw up.

"What do you mean?" He questioned, I opened my eyes to an arched eyebrow. He leaned back, shaking his head, "No that means no sense."

He's right, it didn't. My lips played with words as did my tongue danced with how they should come out. Out without them sounding like false lies. I closed my eyes, and began.

"You're right, it would be wrong of me to try to break up a happy little family. I shouldn't do it, even if I really didn't realize I was doing anything of the sort." I couldn't help but peer to a nearby clock. Forty-five minutes have passed. Breathe, Aerith, breathe. "I'm sorry for what I've done to you, and what I've probably been putting myself through with the baby." His fingertips touched the bump, stroking it slowly.

"Let's run away, let's try and start a new life. Let's just leave this area, let's leave Edge, and not look back, Costa del Sol is nice.." It felt like his eyes were knives and they were stabbing their way into my soul.

"Are you serious?" He laughed for a moment, bringing a hand over his face, his head shaking. "With everything going on, you..." He paused, dropping his arm over his knee. I wonder how many times my heart will sink before it floats into the Heavens?

I closed my eyes, and released his hand from my grasp, folding my arms under my breasts. I heard him clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth. He was thinking, that was obvious. What is it that I truly wanted?

_To live happily ever after._

Stop it, Aerith. You can't be beating yourself up for something like this.

I am right.

Perhaps, it was a mixture of being half-Cetra, and having a child - EVEN after death, and rebirth. Perhaps, it was the mixture of emotions welling up inside from between the pregnancy, inner demons, wants, desires, rights and wrongs.

Seconds turned into minutes before Zack spoke again. "You're right." I opened up to a smile, "Costa del Sol _is_ nice around this time of year."

What did he just say? Rejection would of been the first thing that came to my mind.

"Aerith, I understand." His voice began gentle, delicate. "Don't go to see her." He begged, I listened, staring at those mako eyes.

It was beginning to feel like a game of ping pong. Back and forth, between Zack and Tifa. Right now, Zack was up to bat, and Zack was the one striking the homeruns..

"We'll leave in the morning. You rest." He stood, planting a tender press to my forehead.

How odd the time felt, I wanted to sleep, but a slumber would only turn into a nightmare. Was she actually waiting for me? I was on my side, staring into the clock as it moved it's hands slowly around in a circle. Watching as the seconds ticked away.

I could hear Zack shuffling around downstairs. I'm sure he was packing up some of belongings, afew clothes, afew of the baby's things we've gathered up. I wonder if he'll manage to strap that rocking chair into the truck?

I always picture him more as a motorcycle man. Never someone to be inside a truck, traveling around with a pregnant woman in the passenger seat. I peered over at the phone, watching it light up and soon die down. I turned on my back. Her name was on the screen, and the phone was dancing on the surface of the table.

Zack must have brought it in. No other reason for it to be in the bedroom. Perhaps, he was waiting to see if I would call her, confess that way? Or was it a test..

Whatever you do, Aerith, don't pick it up. Everything almost felt so numb. I pressed my hand to my midsection. Somewhere deep inside I think I was telling myself it was more for her than myself truly.

That's one way to think about it, I guess..

I could hear Zack's feet stomping up the stairs, he was soon in the room, plunging himself into the bed besides me. He peered over at the table, tossing his arms behind his head, "Want me to get that?" He asked.

The phone was dancing on the table again, I shook my head, and reached over him, hitting the accept button and pulling it to my head. Listening before I answered, "Hello?"

"Where are you?" Her voice echoed in my head.

I closed my eyes, the moments I dreaded, I smiled, "Something's came up, I'm sorry." I partly-lied through my teeth. "I can't make it today." I peered over at Zack, he was leaning forward looking at me.

He only shook his head, before he floated back over to the window, and pressed his palms to the wall, his eyes peering back to me, I watched his lips move slowly so I could make out the words. _You don't have to lie._ They read.

I didn't have to, but it was better than the truth. Oh, imagine me telling her; _I'm Aerith Gainsborough, Tifa! You know, the only woman you said you loved. The one who was been watching you from afar, oh you know. I've been okay. Oh, did I mention I'm alive? Yeah, I know right! Me! Alive! Here I stand infront of you._

_Pregnant you say? Yeah... Zack's alive too. We had... Some fun..? You could say that, yeah.. Well, you came back into the picture, I was kinda hoping to move on with my life without confessing my undying love to you._

"Kalani?" Tifa's voice snapped me back to reality.

"I'm here, I'm sorry." My eyes must of shot opened wide. Zack was giving me a funny look.

Alright, so that might of been everything I was actually wanting to say to her, but not in that exact order.

_If I take this leap,  
>To fail or succeed,<br>I'm dying to know,  
>I'm dying to know.<em>

"I'm sorry, Tifa. I just can't make it.. Zadok's taking me to Costa del Sol. I'm sorry, I didn't know. He made the plans and everything..." My voice trailed. I was running out of room.

"Oh." She said, disappointment in her voice perhaps? I smiled, how empty I felt. "Alright then.. That's okay, I guess, another time we'll tell me?"

"Yes." I lied.

_No, Tifa, I'm actually going to Costa del Sol and going to toss my phone into the ocean._

Was I actually going to? I doubted it.

There was a silence before she hung up, I held the phone to my ear just afew seconds long before closing the top of the phone. Glancing over to Zack, who grabbed me and pulled me into his chest where my buried my face.


	12. Costa del Sol

**12. Costa del Sol**

**Notes: Lyrics. Celldweller, **_**Frozen, I Can't Wait, So Long Sentiment.**_

It was beautiful here, the breeze dancing through the air, and the sand beneath my feet, digging between my naked toes. The sun danced, and rippled against the crystal clear liquid as it lapped against the white sands, and my ankles. How warm the sun felt against my skin.

Wasn't it wonderful?

My mature body dawned down in a bikini that embraced the bump infront of me. It was noticable, I'm sure. You could tell the flower maiden was excepting a special surprise. Her SOLDIER nearby, topless with his swimshorts, pouncing around between the waves. His body ripped with muscles. Tone, fit, and tan.

Battle scars were the only imperfections.

It felt kinda strange, being in such a sunny and wondrous place when your mind is somewhere else. What was I really doing here? Was I really trying to escape Tifa, or the chances I could take, or was I trying to build myself a future.

I wonder.

There I stood at the entrance of the ocean. The sun was arched downward, and the low glow was across the water.

Zack told me he got us a room for several days, or until I felt ready to leave. Perhaps, he was really telling me we should just stay here in Costa del Sol. Raise our daughter here, and pretend like nothing ever happened.

"Kalani!" Zack had called out, as a wave crashed into him from behind. How my _name _danced off his tongue like a melody.

I simply smiled and waved before pouncing into ocean after him, he would flip away from me, and slip under the water, twisting me around and dragging me between the waves along with him.

Oh, how simple it had felt. Zack would spin me back around, gripping my cheeks with his fingertips, those mako eyes focusing into the emeralds of mine.

What he wanted, he wanted his happiness as well. Was it simpler to be dead, and live with Zack that way? Instead of following after a woman I truly couldn't touch?

It must be.

I'd close my eyes, and allow myself to float upward, breaking the surface with my being. His arms cradled me, as he stood and floated us towards the sands.

Was I mistaken, and this is what Heaven is truly like?

Dripping locks laid around my shoulders, his dripped ontop of my ever growing breasts. His feet stepped onto the sands where he ventured towards our towels laid down under an umbrella. Where he laid me down, kneeling at my side when my eyes opened, his arms on either side of my head, pressing and leaving their marks in the sand.

It felt like he was staring into me, trying to figure me out.

Heh, you're not the only one trying to figure everything out Zack.

I only smiled, I couldn't really tell if it was true, or even fake. Something had felt so right though. I breathed him in, breathing in the crisp air, the salt of the ocean.

"Aerith.." He whispered my name, my eyes peered around us, it was silent around us, the sun glittered against his frame. He was laying nearly top of me, hovering really with his arms.

"Zack." I mouthed. He smiled.

I felt so burnt out. Aerith, please just forget about her. You have Zack, a man who's willing to do anything for you, will you just drop this silliness.

_I can't,_ I'd tell myself. _It's not that simple._

It would be _that_ simple, if I allowed it.

It felt like minutes before he spoke, but it was mere seconds before I'd playfully shove him to the side, he's throw his body weight to the ground, and gasp and pretended as if a rib or two was broken while his arms crossed his chest.

I'd shake my head, and roll off to the side.

"What are you thinking about?" He questioned, now sitting up, leaning over me, casting a shadow.

I curled, placing my hands under my head, and shutting my eyes.

_Synthetic ecstasy._

"Chances I should take." I said, allowing a smile to dance across my lips, I twisted in his direction, "And wondering why this boy's in my light." I teased.

"Oh, my, maiden." He said, dropping back on his rear, his palm to his chest, laying upon his heart.

_You are anyone I want to be  
>(It's here and now and now it's only you and me)<em>

Costa del Sol, you're wonderful. Please, leave this be a vacation to where I can forget and forgive. Move on, and live on.

"Zadok." I whispered as people strolled nearby us. It looked like I knew them from somewhere before.

A flamed haired man, with a ponytail dancing down his back, a blonde haired woman with sapphire eyes. A bald headed man with sunglasses placed neatly over his eyes. I knew them from where.

It dawned. Turks. They couldn't still be Turks after all this time right?

I closed my eyes, "Let's go back to the room." I whispered, peering at him. Zack arched a brow, before nodding and beginning to roll up the towels, and help me up as I bounced along before he could follow along before.

_A fading memory,  
>When my mind is frozen.<em>

_We bathe in this denial,  
>Lay bare this secret palce,<br>For just a little while,  
>Submit to this embrace<em>

Take more chances, Aerith. Caution isn't something you should use around Zack. Why do you really need to? Take caution around Tifa. If something is truly at a catch, then grit and bear through everything until Ayanna comes around.

Don't risk her little life.

Listen to the Planet. You haven't done that in awhile. I'm sure they could tell you something you don't already know.

If it's untrue, report to Tifa, and reveal yourself. If not, hide yourself.

What happens in Costa del Sol, stays in Costa del Sol.

Relax and release your mind, let everything happen and just let it flow.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

I should take my own advice.

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be.

Zack keeps coming around, regardless of how many times you try to let him go. If it his own yearning to be with me, or is he afraid or something he hasn't let showed? Or does he just want to make sure something doesn't happen to his flesh and blood?

No, that can't be it.

Just because you're in love with someone else, doesn't make you shouldn't be reckless since she _IS_ married.

But what happens if you're let yourself be known? Would it end with Cloud? Was she just finding safety with Cloud since you're leaving. I mean, you _never_ actually spied on her that way, you just watched her from afar.

Yes, that could be it. Oh, god, I should stop this.

Costa del Sol, Costa del Sol, Costa del Sol, Costa del Sol, Costa del Sol, Costa del Sol, Costa del Sol, Costa del Sol.

You're in Costa del Sol. Relax, you'll figure everything out in the end.

_What the hell is wrong with me?  
>Why am I torturing myself?<br>Fixated on these memories.  
>Like a prisoner in a cell.<em>

I couldn't resist him.

_Ecstasy._

Is the only word I can place for Zack's touch.

My body arched, drunk with passion.

_Electricity._

Groans as he bound himself ontop of me, embracing my small frame into his, as my fingertips dug into his back, trailing and traveling.

It was louder than words.

He could make me forget all in the same day.

_Aerith, you have everything you needed in this one person. If she wants you, she'll come around. Live for the moment._ I'd tell myself, as my vocals rang out with desire, begs and pleads.

His lips were danced along my ear, whispering sweet nothings, and promises for a better tomorrow. I could only whimper in return, gasping out his name.

_Oh, Zack. You're a gift.._

I could hear one of our phones buzzing and dancing on the floor where they fell. The message will be there later...

His body would arch as he found his release, declaring his love along with my true persona.

I couldn't help myself when he found my trigger and released me. His name would dance out from my lips, and fall into a melody.

_Pain unfolding,  
>Shame beholding,<br>Don't let go of me._


	13. Birthright

**13. Birthright**

It was Tifa.

Who called me that night.

She told me, she wanted me to call her.

Her voice cracked, she sounded heartbroken.

That's not what it was, she was yearning and she called it quits with Cloud, and was going through a divorce. ( She didn't know how to tell him. ) She just wanted someone to talk with. So, also wanted to give me a baby shower and wanted to know if I knew anyone wanting to come. She said she would of made it a surprise, but, you know.

I never actually listened to the voicemail until now.

If I ever see her again, I'll have to explain. I probably should of answered.

No, not probably. I _SHOULD_ have answered. No, it could of been for the best. I wanted to end the flings with Zack. He deserved so much more.

.

.

.

Passion filled nights with Zack made me forget. Left me drunk with desires, and yearning for more.

I wanted to write to my mother, telling her to welcome our daughter to the Planet.

I knew I shouldn't, and I didn't.

I wonder if she could hear her grandmother? My father?

Being only half-Cetra probably fitlered her blooding into being a quarter Cetra, right?

I wonder if anyone would learn the Cetra race lived on? Right under their noses. It would be her birthright to figure it out for herself. If she could hear me later, I'd know for sure then.

She was gorgerous. Emerald eyes, dashed with sky-like colors around the rims, and raven hair. Her tiny locks spiked and arched. Aside from her hair, I thought she looked almost like me. ( Perhaps I was thinking too much to myself. ) Bits and pieces of Zack hidden throughout her tiny being, I'm sure. Zack looked like the perfect father.

Standing at my side while my screams reached the Heavens - atleast, that's how it felt. He never whined at how much I gripped his hand with my fingers, he only brushed my the matted hands, and placed his forehead to mine, whispering encouragements, praises, telling me that she was almost here.

I thought I'd pass out from the pain, but tears flowed from our eyes when we saw her.

She was living, breathing example of everything perfect and pure. A gift.

He would cradle and feed the cranky child while I'd rest from the ordeal. The SOLDIER had his child, probably something he would never thought of in a million years. The flower girl rested her little head.

I was content with how quickly my body snapped back to it's old figure. No stretch marks, the curves came back within one or two months. Better than, working at it endlessly without result. Zack moved us into a nearby villa instead of the old apartment, how hard he worked.

While I took care of Ayanna, he'd run himself into the ground working on the nursey. Asking what colors, and stuffed animals, everything in between, dashing off before any reason choice was made.

Everything was so delicate when he finally finished, I don't think he actually got out of bed for atleast a week. His body probably ached more than anything. I'd have Ayanna curled up under his arm while he slept, something clicked between them. Whenever she was actually cranky, being nearby her father set her at ease. She was a bubbly child, always smiling, her eyes wandered.

I wonder if she would be hyperactive like Zack? Playful, happy?

I would rock Ayanna whenever I had a moment, always peering at my phone.

We had the numbers changed. We wanted to ignore the past. I wonder though, was it worth it all? Setting aside everything we knew, everyone we loved, to escape and make sure we lived our lives to the fullest?

Setting aside everyone's worries, and everyone's wants? I wonder.. What would Tifa think about Ayanna? Would she find herself in awe in the state the child was in. Would the new ravened haired, emerald eyed girl take her by storm? Find herself in awe..

Somehow, I felt like it was my right to find what happened to Tifa the last time I saw my phone ring... Well, _heard._

_Ayanna Fair_ is what we actually named her. It seemed no one picked up the connection, so we took Fair as our surnames as well.

How fair the weather was here, we'd joke.

We roamed the villa as _Aerith _and _Zack Fair_, not Kalani and Zadok Fair.

"Zack." I called out from the kitchen as my digits worked a knife, slicing through the delicate skin of a tomato.

"Aerith." He would chime, Ayanna's giggles bounced throughout the rooms as she was bounced around in Zack's arms.

"I need to know."

The baby's voice echoed throughout, spirit and joy spilled into his voice, "Need to know what?"

"What happened to her." My eyes stared at the silver engagment ring, "Just to find out, I feel horrible for abandoning her so many months ago."

_He left the hospital early when Ayanna and I got released. Came back and got us within two hours after everything was finalized._

_He ran into the villa, dragging the baby's bag, and crashed into the door just to unlock it before we would manage to get inside._

_"Wait, wait, wait!" He called, rushing inside._

_I waited several minutes._

_The villa was filled with flowers, candles lit the way until I found him through a maze around the rooms. He was standing in the middle of the bedroom, a dozen roses in his arms._

_Everything was beautiful, the way the light flickered off his tan, built frame, shimmered in his eyes._

_"Aerith Gainsborough." He spoke, stepping close, his eyes darting to the candles, as to check to makes ure they weren't burning anything down. I could smell the mixture of vanilla and rose._

_It smelled lovely._

_We were only engaged, but I still took his last name._

You could hear his voice sigh over Ayanna's laughter, "Up we go," He called to the playful child, as my hands began to work on dinner again. The pair appeared in the doorway, Ayanna was about six months now, her hair had spiked in the front, and arched like her father's, two locks danced and swayed nearby her eyes.

"We'll go together," He said, Ayanna curled up his arms, up to his chest, "I'm sure she'll like to get out of the sun." He smirked, his head tilted off to the right side.

I smiled, she was about as tan as he would, she might have my eyes, but she took after her father. "Sounds good, what do you want to leave?"

My hands worked into the salad, tossing around the leaves, and spreading the pieces I just cut. His voice hummed, as he placed a kiss to Ayanna's forehead, "What do you think?"

She giggled, and swing her arms, batting at her father.

How happy they were. I wonder how we all looked together?

I looked back, spinning on my heels as I drifted over to them, slipping my arms around his neck, loosely embracing him, and holding our daughter between us. She giggled, and pressed into my chest.

"One tiny wish.." Zack whispered.

I peered up at him, lifting a brow, I had twenty-three at one time, I wrapped all of mine in one tiny little wish. He deserved it.

"Anything.." I replied.

His lips would meet my ear, brushing against as he whispered what he wanted. I couldn't help but to lift a brow at the request, but only smiled.


	14. Flowers

**14. Flowers.**

**Note: In case anyone was wondering about the names I picked for Zack, Aerith and Ayanna. I picked by meanings. I tried to base Zack's off the opposite meaning of his orginial name "God has Remembered" . Aerith's meaning close to "Earth".**

**Kalani means "The Heavenly One"**

**Zadok means "Sacrifice"**

**Ayanna means "Beautiful Flower"**

_"One tiny wish." Zack whispered,_

_"Anything." I chimed back._

He deserved it. He deserved everything I probably couldn't give him. Zack's hands are the ones that loaded us into the boat, as we set sail. Passenger cruise ship, really. Wasn't for a long drift around the ocean, but a quick trip from point A to point B.

Everywhere he went, Ayanna was attached to his hip. Older couples stopping and cooing about how they looked like twins, and how gorgerous of a child she was. How happy they looked together, and what a darling family we must be. It wasn't until Zack reached the tip of the ship with our daughter, did an elderly couple actually stop him down in his tracks.

His fingers interlocked with mine, as he gave it a squeeze. "Aerith.." He whispered, sounding short of breath, "That's my.."

"Oooh! Look at the youngin'!" The grey haired woman chimed as she spotted the child, I lifted a brow to Zack, his face was pale, mako eyes wide. "Isn't she just a darling!" She cheered.

Ayanna waved and reached for the elderly woman, the woman giving Zack pleading eyes, he would shift his weight and allowed the precious girl grasped onto the woman. I gasped for a moment, as Zack spun to me.

"Excuse us, would you mind watching for a quick moment?" He said quickly as he dragged me off to the side, several feet out of earshot of the woman, and still in eyesight of her as well.

"What are you doing!" I said in a half-whisper, half-scream. "You don't-"

"That's my mother." Zack said quickly, as he grasped my shoulders, "She doesn't know.. I'm sure they.." His voice trailed as he glanced over his shoulder, catching sight of them spinning in a quick circle, and the woman whispering nothings to the girl about anything and everything.

It made sense.. It's been forever since Zack had seen either of his parents, and his father was no where in sight just yet.

"Oh, Zack.." I whispered, as we floated back nearby to them.

"Oh, she's beautiful."

Zack smiled, the woman giving him a funny look, "You look.." She paused for a moment, as she shifted around with the girl on her hip, small, tight sways left to right before Ayanna would reach for me, and she'd pass her over without a second thought.

"Forgive me." The woman would say, a smile sorrowful smile drawn on her lips, as she leaned towards Zack. Zack's face slowly began to regain its color. "But she looks like.." Another pause, the woman placed a hand to her cheek.

"You wouldn't of happened to be in SOLDIER, would you?" Her eyes watching his infused with mako.

"Excuse us." I said as I tapped the tip of Ayanna's nose and a small whine screamed, "But I think someone's hungry." I smiled, "Say bye, Ayanna."

The girl would wave, she would reach for her father as he leaned to press his lips to her small forehead, "Daddy will see you soon, sweetheart." His fingers weaving through the ebony locks.

It was an excuse to leave Zack alone with his mother. As soon as she said SOLDIER, I knew it was my cue to leave him alone. I wonder what he'd do when placed in a position such as this? Were was his father for that matter.

Hopefully we'll land in Junon soon.

"Excuse me, miss."

Why have I heard that voice before? I peered up to see the ninja. It had been months since I last saw her, but there she was again. "Mind if I talk to you for abit?" She said, already making herself comfortable next to me.

"Hm?" I hummed, as I continue to dish little spoonfuls of mashed veggies.

"You know a Tifa?" Yuffie asked, I'd nod.

"Are you Kalani?"

I lifted a brow, but only continued to nod. I saw a smirk lift across Yuffie's lips. "She was right when she said you'd be easy to find."

"How is that so?"

"You look like her." She replied, extending her feet out infront of her, shifting her toes from side to side. "How's the little one?"

"Ayanna." I replied, casting my sight down to my daughter.

"She looks like the dark haired guy over there." She said, shifting her head off to the side.

"Her father."

"You married?" She questioned.

I felt like I was being interrogated. So many questions. "Engaged." I replied, casting a smile as I heard heavy footsteps coming our way.

"Hm." Yuffie replied, as she stood and threw her arms above her head. I placed Ayanna so her head would just rest against my shoulder as I lightly rubbed her back. "Well." Her shoulders shrugged, "You do look like her.." She repeated, "But, I'm here about another thing." She smiled as she paced with her back to us.

"What is this about, miss?" I said, as I felt Zack's weight shift the seat besides us. He was leaned over with his face hidden in his hands.

I guess it was heartbreaking for him, I wonder what they talked about, what was said between them, did he tell her who he was, was it something about his father? So many questions I want to ask him.

"Where are you headed?" Yuffie turned to us, tilting her head as she leaned forward completely ignoring my question.

I sighed. "We're going to see someone." I answered truthfully.

"Tifa?" She asked, I looked over at Zack, who was shaking his head, as if trying to hold something in.

"Yes." I nudged Zack with my arm lightly, he moved two of his fingers so I could see his eyes, so he could see me. He was crying silently, any news from him couldn't be good. I gave him a quick frown, and shook my head before he turned his sights back to darkness within his palms.

"Oh.." She hummed for a minute, thinking out her thoughts and how to put everything. It was written on her face. "Well, that's kinda why she sent me." She smiled, almost focusing on me. "She hadn't heard from you and was abit worried." She confessed.

I smiled, bobbing my hand. "I'll have to bring her a flower then."

The ninja hummed for a moment, keeping her eyes on me, there was something eating at her, poking at her soul that she wanted to say, that she wanted to call out. "Alright..A.." She paused, "Kalani." She bobbed her little head, "Don't mind if I tag along do you."

I glanced down at Zack, who shrugged his shoulders before wiping his eyes with his bare forearm and looking up at Yuffie. He played a smile across her lips, and nodded. "Sure, you can. Heading back to Edge, I can take it?"

The ninja nodded with a bright smile. Zack leaned back on her heels, "No problem," He said waving his left hand as his arms came across his chest. "We're making a stop a Gongaga." He warned, looking over at me, talking to me and only really me at that time. "Someone recently passed, I just wanna pay my respects."

I leaned on him, as I shook my head. "I'm sorry.." I would whisper, placing my lips to his ear so only he could hear, Ayanna would shift over from my lap to Zack's. "I'm so sorry, Zack.." Almost choking myself as I spoke.

We would arrive at Gongaga first. I would ask Yuffie to stay put, as Zack and I wondered to the graveyard, Zack carried Ayanna close to his chest. Watching the man you've had a child with, the man that proposed to you hold back so many tears as he kneeled before his own father's tombstone.

He embraced his child closely, as I stood just off to the right of him, a hand on his shoulder as I watched the SOLDIER crumble in his own tears again. I kneeled, and slipped my arms under his, behind the tiny child. I laid my face close to his.

Minutes passed before either of us, I broke the ice first.

"I'm sorry, Zack.." I whispered, "What happened between you and your mother."

Zack shook his head, "She knows who I am." He confessed, "I didn't even have a chance to really lie to her about it." He smiled.

My mind drabbled as I thought silently back to when _I_ was told I shouldn't tell anyone, I closed my eyes. Was something going to happen to him now? Was something going to happen to us? To little Ayanna? I wanted to scream.

"A mother would never forget her child.." I whispered as I peered down at Ayanna. "What did you say to her?" I questioned.

"I lied." He smiled. Oh his smile was so sorrowful, it hurt. He was wiggling out of my arms and slipping over to a patch of wild flowers with Ayanna on his hip. "I said, I just lost track of time, I lost contact with alot of people. I was busy planning everything out with my girlfriend." His fingers picked at afew wild flowers as he spoke, his voice shaking.

"She believed me.." He whispered. "She said she moved away from Gongaga shortly after my father passed." Zack was turned around, pacing back as he kneeled infront of the tombstone, carefully placing the four flowers nearby the top.

They were yellow, tiny things.

"She said Ayanna was gorgerous." He continued, sitting on his rear, boucning the small child. "You were too, how grown I was.." His voice turned into a whisper, it almost felt like he was being renewed.

I pressed my forehead to his.

I felt horrible for everything. Getting him close, chasing him away, giving him myself, taking it away, going after Tifa, leaving him behind, leaving him to wonder, bringing him back... Accepting him. Giving him our daughter.

He watched you as you fell, he held you as you bent, he picked you up.

_If you love something let it go, if it comes back.. It was meant to be._

Oh, Aerith.. What have you done?


	15. Gift

**15. Gift**

_True Love behind a wall, Where man and angels fall._

It was several days until we reached Edge City, Yuffie had tagged along in the car as we drove our way there. She told me her name, and everything inbetween. Little drabbles, and her adventures with her friends who she tries to keep in contact with the best she could.

The purple eyed girl seemed content in general, abit chatty at times, but we'd smile, and amuse her with any reply that we could possibly come up with. No wonder I thought of her as a little sister before. She has become so strong since then. So firm in her ways.

The car ride made Ayanna sleep throughout the trip. What boundless amounts of enegry she could muster up when the car stopped and Zack stirred her away.

"Well, Yuffie." I said finally. I've come to realize.. I never had eye contact with this girl, I wonder how many times she was actually staring me in th eyes. "I guess I'll see you around." I smiled, as she was pacing her to the center of the street.

"Yeah." She replied, it felt like her eyes were burning a hole through me. "I'll see you around." She yelped cheerfully before running off.

I couldn't help but to wonder as I watched Yuffie skitter off. Ayanna had told me not to tell Tifa that time when I blacked out, and yet Zack's mother was able to figure out who he was, but he didn't reveal his death to her. I wonder what this catch was. What exactly was the catch to our rebirth. Was there something that I'm completely missing..

"Zack." I whispered, leaning up against the rear side of the car, Ayanna sitting on my hip, thumb in her mouth. "Are you going back to see her again? Your mother that is."

"Yeah. I'll be taking Ayanna with me." He replied, I tilted my head back in his direction. "Call it a trial separation." I lifted a brow at this, he pulled the baby's bag over his shoulder as he slipped around to the back with me, leaning close to my face.

"What exactly are you saying?" I wondered, my hands shaking just abit.

"Y'know, it gave me alot of time to think.." He whispered, "Aerith.. I'm kind of tired of being _Zadok_." He whispered, lips brushing to my forehead, as he pressed them sweetly there for a moment. "Maybe, if you can figure it out, you can be my Aerith again."

I smiled, shaking my head. "There's something you're not telling me.." I whispered. "There was something Yuffie wasn't telling me either."

He sighed, shaking his head with the slightest smirk. I ran the tip of my tongue against my bottom lip as he whispered to me, what secret he had been containing to myself. Sweet little nothings inbetween, and hopes for a better tomorrow. He whispered me his plan about leaving me in Edge, and drabbling my _gift_ to Tifa for a night.

He slipped his arms around his child, and slowly pulled her away, settling Ayanna on his hip now. Whispering about how, he knew what the catch was if we truly showed ourselves, and that it would be easier if people would just find out without us pressing the issuse.

The reason he kept me to himself is because of what might of happened, but he'll lose my mind if I don't fulfill a desire of my own.

_"One tiny wish."_

_"Anything."_

_"Just be happy."_

It began to make sense.

_"Please don't tell her yet, mommy.."_

I stared at Ayanna, who was staring back at me, suckling on her tiny thumb, I leaned down and planted a kiss to her forehead, I placed my hands on Zack's cheeks, and pressed my lips to his for a passionate kiss. It felt like minutes before he actually broke it.

His lips still hovering nearby mine, brushing as he spoke. "I only want to be with you, Aerith.. If you want to be with me."

My heart pounded against my ears, I wanted to be with him, I wanted him as well as I wanted _her_. I couldn't help though, if I only wanted her in body, wanted hers against mine, exploding every little detail of her frame, of those honey hues, tug on those dark strands, caress that delicate skin.

Oh, why must this all be so trivial. "That's how it'll be. I've let you go so much, Zack Fair." I whispered, keeping my face close to his.

Our love would be forbidden, it was like a fruit. Beautiful to look at, but forbidden to taste.

His fingers had worked against mine, slipping off the silver ring before I even felt it, I only noticed it when I peered downward and saw it missing off my ring finger. He made quick work of it all.

"Let go this time," Zack's lips met my forehead, he breathed slowly. "Let's just say.. We're finished for now." I could feel his lips curl against my skin, I shook my head, almost begging. Eyes pleading as I nearly threw myself back, staring at him. "I'll see you in a week.." His free arm had pulled me back close to his chest, fingers slipping beneath where the tie in my head was, and tugging at my hair playfully.

"Just do it for both of us." His forehead was to mine, my eyes closed.

He was torment, I watched helplessly as he loaded Ayanna and his belongings back into the car. He was torment, I told myself again.

He couldn't keep dealing with the fact that I wanted her so badly, that I wanted to be with her. He gifted me with a week of freedom of wanting to be with her as I pleased. He needed to know for sure, he needed to know that I was willing to stick it out even if she was around in someway. My wanting to see her after so many months probably drove him here.

His willingness to see how it went, would drive him to grant me freedom and a moment to take chances.

"Zack.." I whispered as I watched them drive away.

He took a leap of faith.

It was my turn to catch him.

"So... You're actually her.."

Chills ran down my spine.

Notes: Short, but it was meant to leave people hanging while I figure out the reason in my head. :)

Will Aerith chose to be with Tifa or Zack!


	16. Reflection

**16. Reflection.**

**Notes: Lyrics: Atreyu - Wait For You.**

When I turned, she was standing with arms across her chest, just under her breasts, giving them a slight lift from their orginial position, the Wutai ninja kneeled against a wall.

"I knew it!" The ninja had snapped, clicking together her fingers, she stood pacing herself towards me, her index finger was aimed directly at me.

"I just knew it! No one can just _look_ like her, you are her! You're Aerith!" Her voice cracked as she cried out. Tears came to steam down her eyes, as she wrapped her slender arms under my waist, she buried her face in my chest.

The girl cried silently, tears of joy I'm sure. "Yeah.." Was the only thing I could muster up, I pulled my arms around her, gently messing with the ebony locks.

It kinda hurt, having to hide everything from them, and now everything was out in the opened, my spirit was flying high. I peered up, trying to comfort Yuffie the best I could, I looked at Tifa. She was staring at me.. It felt like she was staring through me. I'd pull Yuffie back by the shoulders.

"I really need to talk to Tifa now." I whispered to the girl, smiling just softly. How nice it was to see her as... _Myself_.

I touched my breast pocket of the jacket, before watching Yuffie nod, forearm rubbing against her violet eyes. "Let's catch up.." She chimed, "She's really cute.." She smiled, before walking off, trying to catch her breath, and reclaim herself.

_Reclaim herself._ I thought, _I think I'm about to do that too.._

I breathed, before dashing my fingertips against the ends of my arched bangs. "Tifa." I whispered, before floating over to her, taking my sweet time, carefully stepping.

She was silent, her head cocked off to the side, as she leaned against the doorway to the Seventh Heaven. "You're.." She began, biting at her bottom lip. "You're really her..?" She whispered, almost in disbelief.

"I'm sorry," I almost begged, "I know, I'm sorry!" I cried out, standing just afew feet away from her, my arms outstretched behind me, she placed her index finger to her lips, before ushering me into the Seventh Heaven.

"Let's not make a scene." She whispered, drifting to a nearby chair, sitting and resting her arms against the top of the table. "Where's-?" An eyebrow lifted.

I breathed, it was all out in the opened as it was anyway. Why not finish the truth while I was at it. "Zack." I replied.

"Uh huh.." Tifa's fingertips would dance across the tabletop with a click of her fingernails, "Kalani and Zadok?" She questioned.

"May I?" I held my breath for a moment, my hand aimed at the chair infront of her. She gave me a small nod, before I would slip into the chair. "Fake names." I bowed my head, "We couldn't let anyone find out."

"But, we did. Here you are."

"I know, I know..." I bit my bottom lip, trying to figure out the words I wanted to say before.

"Everything I've told you.." She leaned back, kicking her feet out infront of her, one ankle across the other, arms under her breasts again, her eyes traveled across the ceiling, trying to find their own place. "You know, that.." She paused, shaking her head.

_"She..Was the only woman whom I actually loved.."_

"Yes.." I nodded, my fingertips began to dig into my skirt, my shoulders were stiff.

I closed my eyes. I felt like I was a child about to get scorn for touching something she shouldn't of been, oh god, why did I come here?

"Where is he now?"

I wonder if her mind was racing between the pregnancy, Zack, how I pretended to be someone else, everything she told me, where I've been this enough time. What Yuffie had known.

"Gongaga, with our daughter to visit his mother."

"Oh.." She nodded, kicking back in the seat, and pulling herself to her feet, she began to pace back and forth. "Why are you here?"

"I wanted to see if you were alright... I just listened to the voicemail and everything, I'm sorry! Ayanna is a gorgerous child, Zack has been there for me with everything -"

Her index finger had found the center of my lips, I opened an eye, looking up at her. "With a mother like you, I'm sure she would be gorgerous.." I opened both of my eyes, just watching her, not moving.. I was almost afraid to. "Zack, huh...?"

I'd nod, she removed her hand. "He's grown.." She rubbed the back of her neck.

I only nodded, bobbing my head slowly.

"You two?"

"Trial separation.." I whispered, she lifted a brow, kneeling down infront of me, and placing her palms to my cheeks.

I wonder if she was trying to figure out if she was talking to herself, dreaming, and this will all be a bad dream.

"Engaged.." I confessed, "But separated. Oh, Tifa. I'm sure he's tortured."

"Tortured?"

I nodded, standing up to my feet, almost preparing to run out the door, the girl stood up along with me, running her fingertips across my jacket, testing the waters and fabric.

"You really are here.."

"Yes.."

"Isn't there some sort of punishment for this?"

I could only nod, opening my mouth to speak but the fighter had already grabbed ahold of my upper arms, and pressed her lips against mine into a quick, longing kiss. I gasped against her lips, I could feel the heat of her breath against my lips as she pulled back to speak, her tone choked as she readied her words. Her fingers wrapped tightly around my arms.

"Oh, Aerith.. I've missed you." She cried, as she lead me in for another kiss, my eyes opened wide, unable to fathom what just happened. Her honey hues were shut tightly to contain her tears, but they still found a way out.

She took a sharp intake of breath, before releasing me from her grip.

_Trial separation._

I smiled, shaking my head just slowly. "He's tortured because I'm still in love with you, Tifa.." _I do love her right?_

We _never_ physically had a relationship of any sorts, if you looked at it from afar you'd probably call it a best friend thing going on there. Nothing sexual, or romantic.

Apparently the both of us wanted it that way.

I wondered silently to myself, before I lowered my forehead against her collar bone, her fingers would run into my locks, finding their place against the back of my neck. "I want you, Aerith.." She whispered teasingly into my ear.

I lifted my head, taking afew steps back, waving my hands wildly infront of me, "I can't.." I replied, her eyes pleading with me.

Her hands reached for me again, and I fell into her grasp. "I need to know if you're really here." Her lips were so close to mine, "Please."

"Tifa..." I whined, shaking my head, "I'm right infront of you, I just -"

She pressed her lips against mine, holding it there for a delicate kiss, my being yearning for her. Desiring her to touch me with those strong hands, embrace me and never let me go.

...This is what I wanted right?

I gave into Tifa, she led me into the backroom where we first had our encounter. Her lips never leaving mine, as she stumbled into the room, before gently setting me on the bed. Her being laying overtop of me, palms to my cheeks, kissing my lips every few seconds.

Her fingers would begin to work against the buttons in the front of my dress, tugging at the jacket, pulling it from my shoulders, aiding in her every way I could. I heard the fabric in the ground as her lips would find the nook of my neck.

Tifa's lips were exactly as I had pictured it, gently, and delicate as they pressed their way.

She worked on her own vest and slipped out of each garment of clothing she wore on top, she began to sink downwards, her chest exposed, bouncing as she went, she slipped my legs upward, she didn't speak, but only gave me a quick glance, almost asking for permission.

Every kiss, every touch she offered up now, compelled me back to Zack.

Every kiss, every embrace, every moment with him.

_He was taking a leap of faith._

_It was my turn to catch him._

My voice carried a gasp before I jolted myself upward and knocked Tifa backwards, she gave me a look, her arms at each side of her form, like she was just shot with something.

"What's wrong?" She questioned, "Did I do something wrong?"

I smiled, slipping my fingers to tug my dress back across my exposed breasts, "Nothing.." I said, as she dug into my breast pocket of my jacket, before pulling out my phone, and flipping opened the top.

I moved myself out from under Tifa, shaking my head, I just smiled. I couldn't contain myself. I smiled, and it hurt to smile, my cheeks actually hurt. "I just can't do this.."

She sat on her knees, tilting her head, almost unable to react.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered, before putting my free hand to work with buttoning me back up, the one with the other searched for Zack's number.

_It started with a kiss and turned out something else,  
>The blood courses in through my veins, I think of no one else,<br>I never believed in much but I believe in this,  
>I'm incomplete without you, I'd kill to taste your kiss.<br>I'm lost and lonely scared and hiding,  
>Blind without you.<em>

_"I'm not going anytime soon.." He spoke as he hid his' face in my hair. "Not ever.." His' voice didn't sound so sure.._

_"Zack..." I whimpered, drawing back, lifting my eyes to his._

I would hit the send button, and pulled the phone to my ear, listening to the ringing. I gave Tifa a quick look, who was climbing off from ontop of me, and pulling her leather vest back over her shoulders.

She didn't give me any eye contact.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered, as she sat up, leaning forward on the bed.

The ringing continued.

_When the world comes crashing down and the skies begin to fall,  
>I'll wait for you<br>When the days grow old and long and my skins turns into stone,  
>I'll wait for you,<br>When the pain it seems too much and my heart starts beating out of touch, I dont need a thing,  
>I'll wait for you.<em>

"Aerith?" His voice was like a melody to me.

"Zack Fair.." I replied, unable to contain my smile.

"Is something wrong?"

_"Why can't we be like that, Zack.." I finally said._

_Yes, Aerith. It was time to completely forget about her. Even if I didn't want to know the truth - even if she really did marry him.. I somehow didn't want to know._

_"Like what?" Zack had rolled in my direction - literally rolled - I couldn't help but to smile._

_"Like them."_

_"Which part of it?"_

_"Zack!" I huffed, sitting up rather quickly, slamming my palms against the ground. His' eyes opened wide for a moment, but he could tell I wasn't in much of a mood for games._

_"Like them.." He nodded, his' body twisted and he fell on his' back, "There's alot to risk, Aerith.." He said that already, my eyes just narrowed._

_"Please.."_

"Nothing is wrong, can you come back for me?" I couldn't help but to watch Tifa, the sorrow that had built up inside of her.

She was out of the room now, I could hear her sitting and rustling aorund in a nearby chair.

_It's all so different now, emotions burn me out.  
>I have a lifeless touch, this distance leaves no doubt,<br>I fear it all too much but part of me believes,  
>As the years pass away you made me recognize,<br>I'm lost and loney, scared and hiding,  
><em>

_I turned onto the opposite side, placing my head into Zack's lap. He would tug locks of hair behind my ear._

"I'll be there soon." He told me, I could hear his voice smiling from across the line. "I'll see you soon.."

I nodded, and only replied with a simple _Yeah._ before both of us hung up the lines, and I restaged myself, before wandering out to Tifa. I kneeled infront of her like she had done to me before, I placed my hands on her knees.

"I'm sorry, Tifa." I told her, shaking my head, I began to rework her vest, adjusting it before placing my hands on my own knees.

"It's alright." Tifa had a half heartfelt smile on her face, she placed a hand on my shoulder. "I think I get it."

_Yeah...  
>'Cause I'll wait for you...<em>

_I couldn't resist him._

_Ecstasy._

_Is the only word I can place for Zack's touch._

_My body arched, drunk with passion._

_Electricity._

_Groans as he bound himself ontop of me, embracing my small frame into his, as my fingertips dug into his back, trailing and traveling._

_It was louder than words._

_He could make me forget all in the same day. My vocals rang out with desire, begs and pleads._

_His lips were danced along my ear, whispering sweet nothings, and promises for a better tomorrow. I could only whimper in return, gasping out his name._

_Oh, Zack. You're a gift.._

_His body would arch as he found his release, declaring his love along with my true persona._

_I couldn't help myself when he found my trigger and released me. His name would dance out from my lips, and fall into a melody._

He was my gift.

It wasn't that I couldn't resist him, I wanted him.

I gushed as I stood to my feet, spinning on my heels, screaming to the Heavens, "My name is Aerith Gainsborough, and I'm in love with Zack Fair!"

I turned to Tifa, grasping her hands. "I'm sorry, Tifa." My cheeks hurt yet, as I rushed out the door upon hearing the familiar truck pull up.

There he was, leaning over the front seat, rolling down the window as he called _my_ name, before I heard the truck slip into park, and the man appeared out infront of me.

It was an instant when I appeared in his arms, face buried in his chest.

I couldn't contain myself as I cried, as he rubbed my back.

_I love you.._ is what he would whisper in my ear.

_When the world comes crashing down and the skies begin to fall,  
>I'll wait for you<br>When the days grow old and long and my skin turns into stone,  
>I'll wait for you<br>When the pain it seems too much and my heart starts beating out of touch I don't need a thing,  
>I know I don't need a thing,<br>I'll wait for you_

_Zack looked like the perfect father._

No... Zack was the perfect father, the perfect lover, he was there when I needed him the most, he was standing right at my side when I crumbled, caught me when I fell..

I probably didn't want to believe it then, but it was obvious and I allowed everything to be transparent.

I should of known it all along, I should of figured it out soon. I shouldn't allowed myself to pull the strings on Zack like a puppet master.

"I'm so sorry, Zack!" I cried out, biting down on my bottom lip, "I truly do love you." I breathed between my tears.

**Notes:** Obviously I wasn't going to end the story how everyone probably thought it was going to end. Sorry, but it was hard to me to keep it how I wanted it to end.

But it was kind of a mind fuck though.

I truly do encourage TifaxAerith as well as AerithxZack.

The pairing between AerithxZack is too cute to pass up at any point of time.

TifaxAerith is just beautiful as well.

But I had to battle my own inner demons to keep it on track, since I don't remember anything written like this before ( from what I've read ) I figured it was about time.

:D Thanks to everyone who favorited this story, watched it, etc, it made me smile.


End file.
